Month: January 2007

  • Vomithounds: You Better Be Good, or You’ll Be Gone

    “Vomithounds: You Better Be Good, or You’ll Be Gone” (methinks this gel has a vomit habit)* Earlier this week, Girl was suffering from an undiagnosed Fever ‘N Ague. We knew she had a high temperature. We could see her glassy eyes and flushed cheeks from our vantage point across the room, safely out of germ-jumping […]

  • I’m Only A Paper Loon

    “I’m Only a Paper Loon” Most days, I don’t think enough. I just kind of put the car in drive and let it take me places. Or if I’m in the kitchen, and I see a Cheerio on the floor, I instinctively bend to pick it up. Sometimes I eat it. Sometimes I put it […]

  • Bite Me

    “Bite Me” This much is a given: I need to lower my body into a large vat of rubbing alchohol and remain suspended there for some minutes. What has not yet been decided are the logistics of the lowering. Obviously, I need some sort of harness, right? And while I suppose a bathtub could suffice […]

  • Ah, Sweet Relief

    About six years ago, my dad was staying with us for a week. After a few days, I saw a post-it note stuck to the front of a book he was reading. Naturally, because I am governed by a set of conveniently-flexible boundaries, I went right over and plucked it off the cover. In my […]

  • Stop Trying to Chop Off Your Sister’s Head with Your New Toy Axe While She’s Vomiting onto the Floor of the Shuttle

      So we did it. Guatemala hosted us well and remains intact, despite our tear across its kidneys. All in all, I’d say we had a near-perfect two weeks there, particularly considering our respective ages, the ever-present noise of cars, birds, firecrackers, and drunken revellers, and the kids’ certainty that they would never, ever eat […]