Month: October 2008

  • Deep Tissue, Deeply Discounted

    I could have taken my experiences at cosmetology school and washed that cheapitude right out of my hair. Hell no. One of my greatest hallmarks is the refusal to take a lesson, even when it’s slapped onto my head and speared with swords. In the case of my follicular thriftiness, I could have learned that […]

  • Deep Conditioning, Deeply Discounted

    Early on in my career as a person with hair, I stumbled across the option of the beauty college. Generally titled something like Darlene’s School of Cosmetology, such places are, theoretically, win-win for both the cosmetological students and the shallow-pocketed patrons. For nine bucks, customers can get a hair cut from a country girl named […]

  • The Wreck of the Edmund FitzJocelyn

    I live next to the largest body of fresh water in the world in terms of surface area. Because I have a long bendy straw, and I am very good at leaning out my window, I am never thirsty. And because I am always careful to suck up my requisite sixty-four ounces per day, the […]

  • There’s a Kind of a Hush All Over the World Tonight

    They’re out. Gone. Vamoosed. Praise the long-armed reach of absentee landlords (take that, Ireland!): the bohunk renters across the alley have been evicted. After my earlier post about these five college lads’ disruptive partying tendencies, things got worse. They hit a new high the night that Phat Boy Renter and his Li’l Blondie girl sat […]

  • If These Photos Represent a Mere Ten Seconds of My Day, How Could I Possibly Find More Hours For Blogging?

    I don’t mean to post all the time about mein Wee Niblet, but, hand to heaven, he continually provides a mind-boggling amount of fodder. For example, we have a deal in the household, when the kids are due for haircuts, that they can go sit in a stylist’s chair somewhere and be enveloped by a […]

  • Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want: This Key

    I wasn’t kidding. This story is a continuation of the previous one. I know you’re all, “Well, even though I didn’t read her last post, I’m not about to go back now and waste my precious time on it. No, I’m NOT. I’m just going to read this one here and piece it all together. […]