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Home→Published 2009 → January

Monthly Archives: January 2009

Starring Goofus and Gallant

Posted on January 31, 2009 by Jocelyn
20
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Tweet  A few days after his surgery, Mr. Jocelyn’s Groom hit the skids emotionally, a not uncommon occurrence as the body detoxifies from all that anesthesia and hospital food. In the face of day after day in bed, with two … Continue reading →

Posted in Brangelina, highlights, Jessica Simpson, pack ice, testy testes | 20 Replies

Four Days Out, and It’s Still the Size of a Whoopie Cushion

Posted on January 26, 2009 by Jocelyn
28
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Tweet Last week, possessed by all-too-familiar body image demons, I got in a funk, wherein I stomped around and moaned to Groom, “I just can’t lose these damn seven pounds. You know I want to blame it on my tortoise-like … Continue reading →

Posted in man junk, vasectomy, vegetable scrotum | 28 Replies

Making the Case

Posted on January 22, 2009 by Jocelyn
24
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Tweet   While there are sparks in my marriage, they’re of the “Baby, you so hot I gots to dab the nape of my neck with a moist sponge just to keep off you” variety more than “You swollen gonad, … Continue reading →

Posted in arguments, marriage, wikipedia, writing your own evidence so you can be the winner (a la George Bush) | 24 Replies

Blind-sided and Gobsmacked

Posted on January 18, 2009 by Jocelyn
19
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Tweet  It was just a regular day, suddenly sucking. Very fatigued that morning, I managed to dress myself, even hooking my bra–not just letting The Ladies dangle and flap in the wind. I even managed to apply a little slap … Continue reading →

Posted in kids, locked out, Martin Luther King, who can see the shizz coming? | 19 Replies

Ashen, Ashen, I Bawl and Fall Down

Posted on January 15, 2009 by Jocelyn
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TweetFor the event of Niblet’s birth, we bartered for the services of a local doula (if you can’t buy the time of a lesbian who works at the Environmental Protection Agency for the price of a gallon bag of frozen … Continue reading →

Posted in bastard pirates, birthdays, doulas, labor, new piercings, Niblet | 24 Replies

Una Mas Mindy

Posted on January 11, 2009 by Jocelyn
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TweetThe new semester looms, and while I attempt to ramp up the performance energy that is required to stand up in front of 25 dull-eyed under-the-table texters and actually get them to look towards the front of the room occasionally, … Continue reading →

Posted in college students, jail, Mindy, new semester | 27 Replies

Surprisingly Inferior Tamales

Posted on January 7, 2009 by Jocelyn
26
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Tweet  I intend to type short, declarative statements. We just got back from 12 days in southern California. I had virtually no Internet access there. So I missed blogging and reading and such. But I put my feet in the … Continue reading →

Posted in California, Legoland, Sea World, vacations | 26 Replies
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