Won’t Someone Come Vacuum, Though?
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Monthly Archives: April 2009
Kindergarten Sous Chef
TweetIf I do no other good in this life, at least I have had a part in creating this one: He didn’t want to speak because the onion fumes irritated his mouth–this in addition to his eyes and nose, but … Continue reading
Try Honoring Thy Child for Damn Once
TweetWhile I like to pretend that I channel Julie Andrews as Maria Von Trapp and yodel through life as though I’m about nothing more than playclothes for the children and enjoying myself high on a hill with a lonely goat-herd, … Continue reading
I Find Myself Hard to Tolerate for Seven Whole Minutes, So You’re Not to Be Faulted for Skipping the Video and Just Going Straight to the Question; However, Skipping the Video Means You Will Not Be Hearing Styx Today–Unless You’re Humming ‘Babe, I’m Leaving/I Must Be On My Way’ As You Click Over to Another Blog
Tweet The upshot is this: I need to re-invigorate my Ipod playlist so that I am motivated to run faster than a snapping turtle whose feet are caught in a mixture of quicksand and molasses. While you ponder what kind … Continue reading
Pas De Deux
Tweet During my youth, I took ballet and modern dance lessons for 9 years from a delicate woman named Miss June. Because it was part of her job, Miss June spent those years chiding my solid self to “just tuck … Continue reading
Shouldn’t I Get An ‘A’ Just for Enrolling?
TweetEvery semester, I am asked by students–with increasing frequency as the term chugs along–if I have any extra credit activities for them. When they ask this, it’s very hard for me not to start the hollerin’. Here’s what I have … Continue reading
Thus Sprach Jocey-thustra
TweetI’ve been framed.
I Can Help You Birth Your Baby, But Please Don’t Ask Me to File Your Taxes
TweetFrom the teaching life: I have had a student sit in my office and sob about how she was stuck living with her no-account boyfriend who used their money for anything but rent, who hated the fact that she’d chosen … Continue reading
If You Would Be Kind Enough to Ignore My Oily Skin, Greasy Hair, and Hawkish Profile
TweetAlthough last night I was on the treadmill at the Y, running like the cops were chasing me and trying to confiscate my plastic glass of watery keg beer, listening to .38 Special sing “Fantasy Girl,” the truth is I’m … Continue reading