Month: October 2009

  • Skeletal Superiority

    I married up, genetically. Whereas I had lost three grandparents by the age of eight, my husband is nearly thirty-nine and still has three. My last-surviving grandparent died when I was thirty-one; his first-to-pass grandparent died when he was thirty-seven. What’s more, I come from a long line of smooshy, well-hipped, prodigiously-hootered women. Our body […]

  • So Here

      I’m not much of a joiner, nor do I really like playing tag. Also, rules chafe. Thus, I’m not a particularly good candidate for the “meme” challenges and thoughtful awards that litter the blogscape. That noted, when kind fellow bloggers throw an award or a challenge my way, I do appreciate the acknowledgment. I […]

  • Goodbye, Fifteen

    Thanks to Frank and Moon Unit Zappa and their “Valley Girl” hit of the ‘80s, I was equipped with adequate attitude and language, at age 15, to convey my scorn for the aged yee-haws who surrounded me: “Oh my God, I am, like, so sure I will ever be 40. Having all those wrinkles would […]

  • The True Harvest of My Life Is Intangible

    “The true harvest of my life is intangible – a little star dust caught, a portion of the rainbow I have clutched” –Thoreau For its rich colors, its slanting light, the way the axis of the world exerts its tilt, the feeling of delicious melancholy, the accordion pleating of previous warmth with impending cold, the […]

  • Forgive Me, Viewer: It Has Been Two Days Since My Last Shower

    …which is the norm, actually, so I don’t know why I’m acting all proud here. At any rate, occasionally I am less greasy than in this video. Let’s just pretend I’ve smeared myself in bacon grease. Howzabout for the 4th of July, I run around a park, and y’all try to catch me? UPDATE: Tonight, […]

  • At Our House, You Don’t Have to Hide Your Brussels Sprouts in Your Napkin. Hell–That’s Funny–Like You’d Be Given a Napkin at Our House

    Here are my dominant memories of first grade: 1) I got chicken pox and stayed home from school for a week. It got a little long, that week of lolling around, scratching myself, but then my mom set a Mason jar of buttons next to me (which her mom had collected for decades), and suddenly […]

  • Sometimes I Get So Distracted, I Forget to Wipe

      Groom just disappeared for three minutes. When I came upstairs to, er, use the amenities, I saw what he’d been up to. It’s gotten so fun around here that I find myself drinking 467 ounces of water a day, just to earn repeat trips to the bathroom. Question: if a Pyramid Man breaks his […]

  • “(Mis)Adventures for Pyramid Man and For You, Too, Gentle Reader

    Many commenters on my previous Pyramid Man post were correct that “Pyramid Man” was inspired by the They Might Be Giants song “Particle Man.” When Groom started playing around with the idea of the Adventures of Triangle Man, however, he quickly realized that a triangle is hard to confound, as it can just turn sideways […]

  • Parliamentary Procedure of Plastic

      I never like my kids better–and trust me, sometimes I don’t like them at all–than in the hour before bedtime. For 9-year-old Girl, who is exploring the vagaries of attitudinal preadolescence, it’s a time when she often announces, “For my book time tonight, I want to talk.” Since she reads consistently on her own, […]