The Shape of a Girl

Bjork once described herself by saying:  “I am a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl.”  Although I like how her thinking strips away all pretense while still acknowledging the overlay of gender, I wish her words had gone on to include the importance of whimsy: “I’m a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl draped in the […]

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A Fine Cargo

A few days ago, I said to my husband, “So I’m about to turn 44. What the hell is that?” Barely looking up from the curry he was stirring, he replied, “You’ll be divisible by 11. That’s what 44 is.” Aside from smartass responses and the fact that my husband recently wore a pot of […]

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The Only Thing I Missed Was Joe Strummer

“By seeing London, I have seen as much of life as the world can show.” –Samuel Johnson Personally, I think Samuel Johnson might have gotten a little something out of Thailand or Uzbekistan, too, but his point is taken. London is full of awesome. Usually. When I was there last fall with Groom and the […]

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Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief?

At loose ends this morning, Wee Niblet queried, “Dad, can we go down in the basement and find stuff we’re not using and tape it together?” Hoppin’ sassafras, but that’s my kind of question. After some basement diving and an hour of various tapings, the result was this: Even more fun than the result, of […]

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Yo, Brad Pitt: I’ve Got Your Arts & Crafts House Right Here

“Yo, Brad Pitt: I’ve Got Your Arts & Crafts House Right Here” We in Northern Minnesota are most definitely riding the hump of winter, one with particularly cold temps and very little snow. It’s been dark for some months now, here on the pack ice, the sled dogs have been howling relentlessly, and we’ve just […]

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Crumbs and Poo: Making Martha Stewart Roll Over in Her Banana Bourbon Layer Cake

“Crumbs and Poo: Making Martha Stewart Roll Over in Her Banana Bourbon Layer Cake” (This is my attempt at heart-shaped red Snickerdoodles for a kids’ neighborhood party: not so lovely. But excellent baked goods would be wasted on a crowd who thinks Blues Clues is high art, so I worry not) Groom and I are […]

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Does This Donut Make My Butt Look Big?

“Does This Donut Make My Butt Look Big?” Women are weird about their bodies. And by this, I mean about each other’s bodies even more than their own. Certainly, every woman I know has a hearty dose of bodily self-loathing: “My belly shakes when the wind blows.” “This arm wattle? Stand back when I stir […]

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