Category: Uncategorized

The Shape of a Girl 12

The Shape of a Girl

Bjork once described herself by saying:  “I am a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl.”  Although I like how her thinking strips away all pretense while still acknowledging the overlay of gender, I wish her words had gone on to include the importance of whimsy: “I’m a fountain of blood in the...

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A Fine Cargo 15

A Fine Cargo

A few days ago, I said to my husband, “So I’m about to turn 44. What the hell is that?” Barely looking up from the curry he was stirring, he replied, “You’ll be divisible by 11. That’s what 44 is.” Aside from smartass responses and the fact that my husband...

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The Only Thing I Missed Was Joe Strummer 10

The Only Thing I Missed Was Joe Strummer

“By seeing London, I have seen as much of life as the world can show.” –Samuel Johnson Personally, I think Samuel Johnson might have gotten a little something out of Thailand or Uzbekistan, too, but his point is taken. London is full of awesome. Usually. When I was there last...

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Yappin’ 21

Yappin’

I know how Mariah Carey feels and not just because I wear my sequined gowns so tight I can blow my nose with my cleavage. Rather, like Ms. Carey, I now know what it’s like not to the leave the house unless an entourage is tripping along in my wake....

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Blocking the Blog 0

Blocking the Blog

Hi–This is a friend of Jocelyn’s, here to put up a quick post for her.  Here’s the deal:  a few days ago, the Turkish government started blocking access to Blogger, so Jocelyn hasn’t been able to get to her blog, post, or read comments; even worse, she hasn’t been able to...

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Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief? 32

Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief?

At loose ends this morning, Wee Niblet queried, “Dad, can we go down in the basement and find stuff we’re not using and tape it together?” Hoppin’ sassafras, but that’s my kind of question. After some basement diving and an hour of various tapings, the result was this: Even more...

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Yo, Brad Pitt: I’ve Got Your Arts & Crafts House Right Here 17

Yo, Brad Pitt: I’ve Got Your Arts & Crafts House Right Here

“Yo, Brad Pitt: I’ve Got Your Arts & Crafts House Right Here” We in Northern Minnesota are most definitely riding the hump of winter, one with particularly cold temps and very little snow. It’s been dark for some months now, here on the pack ice, the sled dogs have been...

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Crumbs and Poo: Making Martha Stewart Roll Over in Her Banana Bourbon Layer Cake 26

Crumbs and Poo: Making Martha Stewart Roll Over in Her Banana Bourbon Layer Cake

“Crumbs and Poo: Making Martha Stewart Roll Over in Her Banana Bourbon Layer Cake” (This is my attempt at heart-shaped red Snickerdoodles for a kids’ neighborhood party: not so lovely. But excellent baked goods would be wasted on a crowd who thinks Blues Clues is high art, so I worry...

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Does This Donut Make My Butt Look Big? 28

Does This Donut Make My Butt Look Big?

“Does This Donut Make My Butt Look Big?” Women are weird about their bodies. And by this, I mean about each other’s bodies even more than their own. Certainly, every woman I know has a hearty dose of bodily self-loathing: “My belly shakes when the wind blows.” “This arm wattle?...

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Despite the Vomit, Why We Don’t Send the Lad to Be Fostered at the Nearest Castle 19

Despite the Vomit, Why We Don’t Send the Lad to Be Fostered at the Nearest Castle

“Despite the Vomit, Why We Don’t Send the Lad to Be Fostered at the Nearest Castle” He could end up a page to some dashing knight if we did, you know. And he’d learn the ins and outs of keeping chain mail rust free, which is a skill I’d like...

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