Casting Your Vote in 2048

In about forty years, if you start seeing lawn signs in your neighborhood touting “Wee Niblet for President,” I urge you to slow down your hover vehicle and take note.

In Wee Niblet, you’d have a president who could work both sides of the Target Halloween clearance aisle, who could stabilize the economy (“One dollar, per piggy bank, per week, but only if you empty the bathroom garbage can on Tuesday mornings”), and who could revitalize America’s health care system by insisting everyone have tubes put in their ears, as he has, making “pool adventures in ear plugs and a cap” a national mandate.

Punky has a platform, all right.

Even more convincing for you Undecideds out there (waiting for Rosie, your robot maid, to bring you a Mercurytini, as you recline in your easy chair made of moon dust and monkey chromosomes) is the fact that Niblet, even in his early years, proved himself an accomplished stretcher of the truth.

For example, at age five, he swore up and down a bunkbed ladder that he did not like Kit Kittredge, An American Girl: The Movie one, single

–even-if-he-were-under-the-influence-of-a-Kit-Kat-Snickers-Reeses-sugar-rush–

iota.

Crackerjack photographers on site during the movie viewing, however, proved the politician-in-training to be


a liar of “we have found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq” proportions.

When asked about the photos, Niblet replied, “It’s amazing what Photoshop can do. I wasn’t even there that night; I was home, with Hilary, making cookies in an effort to prove that she’s a woman.”

Unfortunately, Future President Niblet’s disclaimers felt hollow in the face of further photographic evidence, which clearly indicted the “Commander in Cheat” as


a swinger without remorse.

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16 responses to “Casting Your Vote in 2048”

  1. flutter Avatar
    flutter

    I am on board with the swinger party, 2048.

  2. Kylie w Warszawie Avatar
    Kylie w Warszawie

    I will totally vote for Wee Niblet in 2048. Assuming I’m still alive. If I’m not, someone should just vote for me.

  3. lime Avatar
    lime

    he’s got my vote!

  4. Balou Avatar
    Balou

    Here’s a new slogan…

    What’s wrong with a few fiblets,
    As long as they’re Wee Niblets?

    I am soo looking forward to those easy chairs made of moon dust and monkey chromosomes.

    You crack me up!

  5. Jazz Avatar
    Jazz

    I’ll become American to vote for Wee Niblet in 2048.

  6. Shania Avatar
    Shania

    I’ve got the perfect running mate for him. Quite the little negotiator.

  7. citizen of the world Avatar
    citizen of the world

    My 11-year-old turned on the tv first thing this morning to see the reactions to the election and talked about it all the wy to school. I may be seeing a few familiar lawn signs myself.

  8. Franki Avatar
    Franki

    By 2048, Wee Niblet might have developed laser-vision with that intense look in his eye.

  9. Princess Pointful Avatar
    Princess Pointful

    Win Now, Wee Niblet!

    Sorry, that was the worst campaign slogan ever.

  10. heartinsanfrancisco Avatar
    heartinsanfrancisco

    You’ve convinced me. If I’m still alive when he is old enough to run, he’s got my vote. I will even write his speeches for him as I am quite an accomplished liar myself. (Ok, I”m lying.)

    Cute pictures! You have beautiful children, Jocelyn.

  11. Amy Avatar
    Amy

    Whatever, you all missed the number one indicator that wee niblet has a serious and strong future in politics, if not Alpaca smuggling, that should not be trifled with. Behold, the sweater vest.

  12. Jocelyn Avatar
    Jocelyn

    Amy: I wondered if anyone would catch onto his sartorial campaign-friendly choices.

    Sure, he can drop a bald-faced lie with the best of them; but what other five-year-old wears a sweater vest so well? He rewy, rewy likes sweater vests and kind of would wear them every day, except there are so many shirts with robots on them that also need his attention.

  13. phd in yogurtry Avatar
    phd in yogurtry

    He’s got my vote, if I’m still able to pull a lever : )

  14. pistols at dawn Avatar
    pistols at dawn

    I’ll have long since passed on because of the drink, but I’ll urge local kids to vote for him, right after I tell them to get offa my lawn.

  15. chelle Avatar
    chelle

    hehehe If bakes cookies I am voting for him … wait he is running for Prime Minister right 😛

  16. Glamourpuss Avatar
    Glamourpuss

    Well, as long as we all get papier mache dinosaurs, I’ll vote for him.

    Puss

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