Random Headlines from the Newspaper Printed Only in My Brain, Where Circulation Is Down

Thornless Rose Discovered; Members of Poison Devastated

There’s Nothing Dumber Than Owning a Small Horse

Bindi Irwin’s Tamagotchi Experiences Painful, Lingering Death

Jury Decides: Tony Danza Was the Boss

Members of Rock Group America Ride Into Desert on Horse Named “Monty”; Unrelenting Rain Follows

Dolly Parton Skydives Naked, Manages Blind Landing

Sorry for the “filler” post; it’s been a particularly packed week, with softball games, kids at camp, friend visiting, gardening, and crazed online students. At this very minute, my ass is doing a weird locked ‘n screaming thing–I’ve been on it so long this morning in front of the computer, grading discussion postings and “reading logs.”

Later today, though, I have an ass-ectomy scheduled, so that should alleviate my woe.




There's this game put out by the American Girl company called "300 Wishes"--I really like playing it because then I get to marvel, "Wow, it's like I'm a real live American girl who has 300 wishes, and that doesn't suck, especially compared to being a dead one with none."

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12 Responses

  1. lime says:

    i’m glad the ass-ectomy is scheduled for thsi afternoon. i shudder to think i could perhaps read a headline about you similar to the one about the lady whose flesh was welded to her toilet because she sat there for 5 years or so.

  2. furiousBall says:

    I heard about that rose, it truly was the rock of love

  3. Vanessa says:

    I love the small horse headline!

  4. chelle says:

    Dolly wha? hehe

  5. citizen of the world says:

    Sounds like someone needs a little time off!

  6. Hammer says:

    Funny stuff!

  7. Claire says:

    Let us know how the ass-ectomy goes, ok?

  8. Glamourpuss says:

    I reckon your president needs one of those operations…

    Good luck with the end of term madness.


  9. Em says:

    Very funny stuff. And always good to hear about your ass. LOL

  10. Jazz says:

    An assectomy. I need one of those.

    PS: even your filler posts are hilarious.

  11. pistols at dawn says:

    Man, ass-ectomy sounds all hot at first, but you know it’s totally not.

  12. Steve says:

    No apologies allowed in Blog land. In skimming mode, I appreciate headlines more than you know!

    Blog Reader’s Eyes Drop, Bounce off Keyboard, and Roll to Floor

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