Category: marriage

  • Making the Case

      While there are sparks in my marriage, they’re of the “Baby, you so hot I gots to dab the nape of my neck with a moist sponge just to keep off you” variety more than “You swollen gonad, the very sound of your voice is like the tines of a fork screeching down a […]

  • Neuf

    A pot of water boiled on the burner behind my husband, as he leaned against the stove, pulling my face into his sweatshirt. This story does not end with seared human flesh, so relax, gentle reader. He hugged me to him for a long time, hard. Finally, I managed to choke out, through thick tonsils, […]

  • Stop Being So Square, Big Daddy

    I would have made a great 1950’s housewife–and not just because I can whip up a chrome-plated five-can casserole and smoke and drink like a fiend while pregnant. Witness this exchange between The Groomeo and me, transcribed from the dictaphone in our secretary Miss Walcott’s shorthand during the year 1958: Groom: My ear still hurts. […]

  • We Was Cute Once

      Two weeks ago, my husband, nearly 37 years old, lost his first grandparent. Seemingly the most hale of his four living grandparents, his grandmother went into decline rather abruptly, with a kidney infection turning into congestive heart failure turning into pain and exhaustion that sapped her will to fight. Her husband, a former bank […]