33 Responses

  1. Keshi says:

    oops thats one MASSIVE tree!


  2. my4kids says:

    Oh wow that looks like a big mess. I would have been sad about the memories lost with it of the kids playing and the view itself. Also the chunk out of the checkbook would have hurt badly also…..

  3. AmyTree says:

    Wow, that’s quite a tree!! Maybe you could just apprentice the kids to the Tree Service..?

  4. Irene says:

    Oh boy. The prolific poet Joyce Kilmer himself would have been properly aghast by your mighty fallen tree crisis! ;p

    I very much enjoyed your wonderfully written post. I’m really glad I chanced upon your highly amusing blog. Keep at it! 🙂

  5. Diana says:

    Well, THAT’S just sad. I do see an out with regard to not having to sell the kids. See, each of them becomes incredibly good at some varsity sport, preferentially something that not only comes with scolarships but (here’s the really brilliant part) also is one that people will pay trillions for. Thus, enabling them to get their little selves educated, pay off the tree, AND see ma and pa nicely settled in that little air conditioned condo in Florida. Or Yuma. I vote for baseball for Niblet, as they usually avoid the horrible limb-severing injuries. And how about golf for Girl?

    (You hit it on the head, there, Jocelyn. The poor tree does look like a passed-out sorority girl.)

  6. yinyang says:

    I remember being little and coming home from the grocery store with my mom, fighting against the wind to make it to our house. I also remember one time when the school had to call us in because the wind was gusting so hard the flying sand hurt, among other things (one kid almost became airborne because he was holding his jacket like a sail).

    I’ve only ever seen trees toppled by the weight of snow, though.

    Good luck with your woes; hope you find a decent family for the kids. The kid market is sort of full right now. Can you pass them off as African or Asian so some celebrity might adopt them?

  7. Jazz says:

    Does the cost of removing the tree include the cost of fixing the neighbor’s fence? Cause if so you better start making new children to sell…

    Oh, and by the way, you’ve been tagged.

  8. Glamourpuss says:

    And what of the raspberry canes? You do tease…

    As to children, you can always make some more – unlike the china.

    (Actually, why not apprentice progeny to Tree Service – a useful trade and they will be fed and sheltered)

  9. Em says:

    Wow, that is some serious tree downage. It is sad to see such a stately tree meet its end, but perhaps the wood can be used to warm you in the winter?

    And Jocelyn, you never fail to make me laugh out loud and snort coffee. Even a semi-disaster is told in a way that makes me giggle. I’ve started to even look for your comments on other people’s blogs cause you write such funny comments, too.

    I know, I should get a life, huh?

  10. susan says:

    (Hey Jos…I think you have a stalker!!)

    Maybe I could just take your kids until the teen years. You could have a few expense free years and I could remember how fun the little kids are. I’m not doing this teen stuff again though!

  11. furiousBall says:

    see that’s why you don’t make a bar bet with Paul Bunyan, I don’t care if he does through in the ox. Seriously, he CAN stack $100 worth of quarters on his forearm and catch them all. He’s a freakin’ giant!

  12. oreneta says:

    It’s so sad when trees come down…and the bill, I have friends who paid out $1000!

  13. MyUtopia says:

    Wow, big tree! The on again off again storms here are driving everyone crazy!

  14. Voyager says:

    Oh poor tree and its now useless tire swing. Last week we took a huge tree down in our yard that was dying, and a clear threat to our house and others. It was only one or two windstorms away from looking like yours does now. Somehow it’s easier to make the decision to let a tree go and have it removed, (I could not actually watch the lumberjacks do the deed) than lose it accidentally. Cheaper too!
    Sorry for your loss. Of the tree and your kid’s college tuition.

  15. Hammer says:

    Glad it missed the house.

    Buy chain saw and sell it for fire wood. That should help 😉

  16. Claire says:

    Come on, can’t the Groom man-up, rent a chainsaw and do that job himself?
    Sorry about the loss of your tree.

  17. Jeannie says:

    Don’t you have insurance?

  18. Diesel says:

    Ok, so I have to know. Did you purposefully type:

    the screws barely dry, the paint barely drilled in

    Or was that a spoonerism? I’m guessing you did it on purpose, but it would be fascinating to me if it was really an accident.

  19. Jocelyn says:

    Diesel–Writerly as I am, I typed it that way on purpose. I was counting on you to catch it, of course.

  20. urban-urchin says:

    I’m so sorry that sucks. does your insurance cover any of this?

  21. heartinsanfrancisco says:


    I’m so sorry about the tree (and the bill.) It’s always a sad thing when such an old entity dies. It sounds as if the mailman may be the next to go.

    We inherited a Hummel from Flip’s aunt. He lives in a closet with several tool boxes and a vacuum cleaner because I don’t like Hummels very much, even while I am able to admire the workmanship.

  22. Fresh Hell says:

    When I decided to go to college, my mother said, “Well, you’ll have to work to pay for it, but I thing it’s a good idea.” She was very supportive, though not financially and I managed to muttle through with a degree… at 30 years old… and seven years later, I’ve barely made a dent in the loans.

    Moral of the story: Encourage the kiddies to get a degree that includes a payday!

  23. lime says:

    oh i can totally understand mourning the tree. as for the economic issues…i have a solution….

    apprentice them out to the tree cutter upper and hauler awayer….he obviously makes obscene amounts of money and thus proves your children won’t need that college education, they can be tree cuttueruppers….

  24. Lone Grey Squirrel says:

    Perhaps you could join forces with your mailman and start charging for tours to the famous tree?

  25. velvet says:

    What a mess!

    Oh, heck, you twisted my arm. Keep the kids. I’ll get the chainsaw and my axe and I’ll be on the first plane out.

  26. Lone Grey Squirrel says:

    I have something over at my blog that might help you forget for a few seconds your tree woes. I am calling you a Schmoozer. Hurry over to find out why.

  27. frannie says:

    so sorry about the tree.

    if you are serious about wanting to sell your china try replacements lmtd… they buy it.

  28. Pendullum says:

    Wow…The true power of nature…
    Awe inspiring…

  29. Logophile says:

    OK, crazy wind storm, my sympathies on your tree, the neighbor’s fence and your children’s futures.
    They are awfully cute, maybe it’s time to get them a cardboard sign and a tin cup. Do they sing or dance? You can leave them out on the sidewalk while you are in getting your coffee.

  30. Steve says:

    I feel your pain. Rick’s Tree Service is on speed dial.

  31. Moosekahl says:

    A fellow transplanted Montanan! Yeah!! At least you are up north where there are some trees, even if they have blown over. I’m heading back to God’s Country Saturday for a two week vacation…i’ll be sure to post pictures. Nice to meet you.

  32. Mother of Invention says:

    Wow! Now that would have been something to see! Well, from a distance further than in your yard or near your neighbour’s fence!

    So, is this an Act of God that insurance people won’t look at?!

  33. Shari says:

    Maybe you could put in an advertisement:

    Free wood. You chop and haul.

    Sorry about the loss of your tree.

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