Spontaneously and unthinkingly, I recently did finger guns at a colleague during an English Department meeting.
Should I ever attend a Liberal Arts & Sciences Advisory Board meeting and toss up some gesticular air quotes, that will be your final warning.
Grab canned foodstuffs and run for your bomb shelters.
I kind of hope your bomb shelter is actually a wine cellar. Start with the Rieslings and work your way to the Malbecs. Don’t bother with a corkscrew; just crack open the neck of the bottle and start chugging. Kind of like I do most nights.