My Mama Pimped Me Out Well Before Misty’s Meth-Addicted Baby Daddy Dropped Her on the Corner of Hollywood & Vine

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36 Responses

  1. Em says:

    LMAO…you do look…well…cute. And funny. But a little short of whorish. (is that a word?)

  2. flutter says:

    Bodes not well for the future, madame ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Say It says:

    your mom had a serious sense of humour! hahahaha! How outrageous you look compared to those wanna be street walkers! hahaha

  4. Jeni says:

    Sally Forth, the prostitute, huh? I gotta tell you I read that and cracked up! Too doggone funny! You even have a great “come hither” look about you too -makes it all that much more comical in a weird, serious kind of way. I know, I know -sometimes I don’t understand myself either.

  5. SQT says:

    OMG! All those little girls were dressed up all prostitute like by their mommas? Too funny!

    Love the shoes btw.

  6. chelle says:

    hahaha that is awesome!
    I so know what my girl is dressing up at Halloween ๐Ÿ˜›

  7. Glamourpuss says:

    You wore silever heels at four years old?! Jocelyn, you are my hero.

    PS. I hope you’re not still charging twenty bucks – the dollar’s worth nothing these days…

  8. Glamourpuss says:

    Of course, I mean ‘silver’.

    Damn my typing.


  9. Jazz says:

    You were such a lovely hooker. Damn, girl, you obviously missed your calling!

  10. Chantal says:

    Oh My, that is way too funny!

  11. furiousBall says:

    creepy and short. just like vern troyer

  12. liv says:

    you are dadgum amazing. i knew you were good people from the moment i saw yer fishnet hose, ho.

  13. lime says:

    LOL!!!! oh you ARE my psychic sister….though i admit i was 12 or 13 before i did my streetwalker routine on stage.

    so if i ever make it to your neck of the woods i guess we’d best be careful if we go out at night.

  14. citizen of the world says:

    Whoa – what was you’re mother thinking? You actually look adorable, but it seems like you shouldn’t.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Step. Away. from the Scanner.


  16. Spider Girl says:

    All the four year olds I know can walk about in high heels far better than I ever will. Drat it all.

    You are the cutest little street-walker I ever saw, by the way.

  17. susan says:

    This is just too funny. At least you were an adorable street walker!

  18. yinyang says:

    Well, now I see where you get it from.

  19. Anonymous says:

    Ten minutes for $20?! Sweetie, don’t sell yourself short. You are priceless!

    This essay is one of your funniest, yet!

  20. AmyTree says:

    Oh my god how cute… Scary, but cute – and what fab hair!!

  21. Hammer says:

    Oh my!

    I think my mother would have dressed me up as a prostitute too if someone put the idea in her head.

  22. Minnesota Matron says:

    How did I laugh before you mastered the scanner?

  23. Claudia says:

    The title alone had me on the floor. And then I saw the pictures. Oh,dear God, you are a dangerous read with coffee in the mouth.

  24. Mother Theresa says:

    LMAO. Very classy. You know if someone did that to their kid in these politically correct times, they’d probably get on the news too, but not in a good way. Ah, where have the good ole days of Etch-A-Sketches, Clue, Lincon Logs and 4-year-old hookers gone? By the way, you forgot the Silly Putty…I’m sure you had some of that lying around somewhere.

  25. Claire says:

    Now-a-days yer mammy would git herself arrested on charges of child porn! Fur shame! LMAO!

  26. Shania says:

    I’ve been reading for a while and am delurking to say that even if I didn’t have you in my reader? That title would have hooked me.

  27. Dorky Dad says:

    Well, that just might explain quite a bit. Yesiree, that does answer a lot of questions. Lots of questions …

  28. cathy says:

    You were a cute little tiny tart!
    LOL. And to think it was all innocent fun. What the hell happenened to innocence?

  29. pistols at dawn says:

    Wow. I can’t help but miss an America that encouraged its underage girls to dress up like prostitutes. These days, I’ve got to fly to Thailand for that kind of stuff, and with the price of gas these days…

  30. coastrat says:

    Hey, I used to read the Billings Gazette and shop there and fly out of there, when I lived 80 miles south of there in Lovell, Wyoming. Duluth, huh? My son works for Duluth Trading Company, located about 6 hours south of Duluth down near the Illinois border in a little town called Belleville, Wisconsin.

  31. choochoo says:

    ROTFL, that’s the funnies thing I’ve seen/read in a long time:D

  32. Shieldmaiden96 says:

    Oh, boy. Here’s your one chance, Fancy, don’t let me down!

  33. Star says:

    OMG! How cute were you?!!!!

  34. heartinsanfrancisco says:

    You were adorable, and don’t seem to have changed very much.

    I always wanted to be Miss Kitty on Gunsmoke because you sensed that she was a Bad Girl although they never quite said so.

    I would kill for your hair.

  35. Diana says:

    Ah, those kinder, gentler times when prostitution was a cute costume suitable for tots.

    Now it’s business as usual in dressing one’s child, apparently.

    Where did you hang the plaque?

  36. OMG, I wish I’d had your mother. Mine dressed me in hugely full skirts as a TEEN so no one would know I had an ass. She would have put me in muu muu’s if she’d known about them.

    And you did look adorable, Sally!

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