Four Days Out, and It’s Still the Size of a Whoopie Cushion

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28 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    Brian just went through the procedure as well and was whining, complaining and shuffling around for a week. I provided no sympathy. Heck, somehow I don’t remember being told not to pick up more then 15 pounds after being cut open twice. And, I believe I only got two hours of sleep in a row for many weeks. He was hanging out on the couch doing nothing. He said my memory was distorted. Oh well, helping the global population feels good to me!

  2. citizen of the world says:

    Oh my God! I didn’t know they could go that nadly wrong! When my ex had his, he was up on a ladder the next day cleaning the siding on the house! I hope he is recovering well.(But yay on the bonus weight loss for you!)

  3. Jeni says:

    As serious as this issue was for Groomeo -and I’m sure scary for you too -forgive me when I confess that I was cracking up laughing while reading this. No, it wasn’t laughter at Groomeo’s expense, not really, but at your way with words in describing all that took place!
    I do recall last summer -2007, not 2008 that is, when my SIL -the one who lives here with me, my daughter (his wife) and their two small kiddos -had that procedure done and good Lord, you’d have thought he was ready to be taken up to the heavens any minute then. A lot of Fred Sandford “Lisbeth, I’m comin” type stuff, ya know. And I was thinking too about how I’d gone through three major abdominal surgeries between 2003 and 2006 and he’d never once offered a lick of sympathy as I was recuperating from them, even when I managed somehow to have two herniated discs right after the first surgery -which was worse by far than the three surgeries combined. Not that I didn’t have a modicum of sympathy for him -and would have too for any other male having chosen this procedure but… Well, you get my drift there I’m sure.
    But for Groomeo, these were extenuating circumstances, to be sure. Now, why is it every time I think of what I read here, I still keep smiling, enjoying a little private, silent chuckle too. Glad things all did work out ok!

  4. Balou says:

    I hope he’s recovering quickly. What a crazy two days! But who knew that a side effect of the snip was spousal weight loss?

    Oh honey?…

  5. lime says:

    good lord but that is a horror story. i am so sorry to hear it but so glad they do not expect long term negative effects. if he wanted to demonstrate he was one in a million i think there were less dramatic ways to achieve it!

    gentle hugs and much snow for poor groomeo.

  6. Bob says:

    gawd. mine went as advertised. snip, snip, bye bye, REST for the weekend and waddle for a day or so. (kinda hard to avoid the site of surgery when it hangs in between your locomotors.)

    I did, however, several years later have a fistula repaired in the ‘taint region that required the wearing of certain feminine products that come with (or without) wings. I am well acquainted with blood-soaked crotches. Also – it’s a bitch getting a hair (or two) caught in the adhesive. just sayin’.

  7. Shania says:

    Good grief! We must never speak of this again, lest my husband learn of it. Then all hope will be lost for the planned snipping.

    I do hope groomeo heals well and quickly.

  8. Becky Cazares says:

    I had to read the post twice because of the initial panicky rush to get to the obligatory fairy tale ending that seemed was not coming near fast enough! My goodness. Suddenly feel the need for a small glass of the pinkish alcohol-laden stuff myself!

  9. flutter says:

    THAT is a supportive hubby.

  10. geewits says:

    That’s really awful. I’ve never heard of vasectomy complications before. And of course now that this is out there on the worldly webs, men will find it and gleefully shout at their wives, “SEE!”

  11. monica says:

    Oh my goodness, what drama! With a happy end though. Fortunately also for Groomeo, eventually…
    When my man had it done, he was off course a bit sore ( pardon, he IS a man so he was ENORMOUSLY sore) and to cheer him a bit up I rented the Movie “Bridget Jones’ Diary”… it is funny, we laughed, he went ” laugh – groan – laugh – moan etc.)… ah, well….

  12. Patience says:

    Yikes! It must’ve really been bad for him to have asked for those feminine product things to wear.

    I’ve heard of that happening, but usually it’s because somebody did something he wasn’t supposed to be doing . . . like lifting 15 pounds of something.

    Congrats on losing the five pounds!

  13. Jazz says:

    That’s insane. When Mr. Jazz had his, it was a couple of days of ice and rental movies.

    Did Groomeo piss of his doctor in any way?

    Now erase this post forthwith because otherwise no male will ever accept to do this again.

  14. Cynnie says:

    Oh lord..thats so horrible..

    part of me wants to say, i had a baby and 24 hours later i was doing laundry..

    but ..the day a guy asks his wife for feminine menstrual products..
    it’s just a sad scary day .

  15. chelle says:

    e – frikin – gads!

    I am so not allowing my husband to read this. Now that I am pregnant with his third love child he is so marching in to the dr after all is said and done!

    Glad your man is doing better!

  16. Tracy Griffin - Artist says:

    Holy Crap!

    Just… Holy Crap!

  17. Bethany/Her Grace says:

    I will never, ever, EVER let my husband see this post. Not even if you offered to empty my dishwasher and sort my socks for a whole year.

    Nor will I ever utter the words “eggplant scrotum” in his presence.

    Hope Groomie feels better soon.

  18. Pam says:

    My daughter is a registered nurse.On shown a piece of jewellery I liked, she said “Don’t like it Mum, looks like a polycystic ovary”. Guess I won’t be putting an elongated eggplant on her plate any time soon.Hope Groomeo enjoyed the “comfort, security and peace of mind” from his feminine product that we are said to enjoy, and that he feels a lot better. Well done to you as well.Good god. Who would have thought!

  19. Chantal says:

    Oh my Joselyn, I am so glad to hear he is okay. And I am never letting my hubby read this. He is already squeamish about “the procedure” and is still on the fence about getting it done.

  20. Casdok says:

    Oh the poor man. Hope hes healing well.

  21. Kylie w Warszawie says:

    Oh goodness. My husband can NEVER read this.


    And I read the last line of “groom’s account” as being “third wife”. When I realized my mistake, I laughed out loud.

  22. Jill says:

    I bet Groom will never eat eggplant again. So sad.

  23. heartinsanfrancisco says:

    I’m so sorry that you both had to go through this, but don’t you just hate it when roommates “forget” to buy their own sanitary supplies?

    It really sounds gruesome. Who knew that controlling global populations could be so cruel and devious? I do hope everything is pain-free and in good working order again soon.

  24. phd in yogurtry says:

    Poor guy, no telling what he was imagining. Lots of TLC for him.

    Oh, and, so glad my hubby didn’t read this before his big snip.

  25. Maddy says:

    I don’t suppose tea and sympathy would help under the circumstances.

  26. Say It says:

    booo, and yet, yeah! helping global population, pounds are lost, and now your husband can have a trump card. Everyone wins!!

  27. Patois says:

    I came over from Maddy because she gave you an ROFL for it. Seeing as I doubt Hallmark makes a card such as you describe, here’s hoping that ROFL will cheer your sterile husband way up.

  28. pistols at dawn says:

    This is the second botched vasectomy story I’ve read on the interwebs, and as much as I want to ensure that the results on the Maury show I’ll inevitably be dragged to prove that I am, in fact, not the father, I cannot imagine willingly going in for such a procedure. Although I have dated a lot of vegetarians who might be interested in at least the first half of “eggplant scrotum.”

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