Admit it.
When we were young, we had ideas about the future:
“I’ll never be old like those dorks”
“I can’t wait to live in a mansion”
“I’m planning to harness ambition and power to make an impact in the world”
“I can’t wait to drink legally”
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And now, here I am, in my own future, and I have realized
old is incredibly awesome, but we dorks like to hide that from the whippersnappers, lest they try to draft in our wake
mansions just mean more dusting–and, OY, the property taxes!
I have ZERO ambition or power, what with being a professional nimrod and all, but I’m still leaving a dent in a few things here and there (not the least of which is my Toyota Camry’s back fender)
drinking legally is wayyyyy more awesome than I even knew when I was hitting up old dorks outside the liquor store to buy me beer
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Here’s something else I never envisioned in my youth–a time when random hair clipping, yoga, and little kid hairdos were totally, as we un-PC slanged back in the ’80s, “gay”:
that this thought would ever cross my mind, “Tarnation and fluff! Now that I’ve hacked at the layers on the top of my head with the office scissors, my hair’s too short to fit into the pigtails I like to wear to yoga class. All this excess time spent clipping these various and dramatically-short tendrils to my noggin is going to make me miss the first vinyasa!”
…all of which is to say, “Youth of 2010: you have no damn idea what’s coming. Practice humility now; you’re going to need it later. Especially after you’ve been wielding the office scissors in front of the bathroom mirror.”
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