Police Files


There’s the famous Nick Nolte mug shot, taken after a particularly fine night of driving under the influence:

And then there’s the photo Groom took of me yesterday when he was setting up a backdrop and stool for his latest digital photography class assignment of “taking portraits.” Trust me, I wasn’t his true subject. Before the real guy showed up, I was simply helping him take some sample shots so he could judge the lighting. We quickly realized that my glasses were creating a glare, so I dropped those.

The rest of the “My, my, but it looks as though Jocelyn’s been driving under the influence” shot, however, comes from a crazy week of being here-and-there (woefully all too sober) topped by Paco getting a virulent case of strep throat that had him up in the night, rounded out by Groom’s grandmother passing away. Death in the family + lack of sleep + sick kid + husband who has a kajillion projects due in his classes next week =

Jocelyn as Nick Nolte

Unlike Nolte, though, I have a partner in crime

And suffer from lunacy more than booze abuse

Suddenly, I’m realizing this is more of a Bonnie and Clyde thing than a Noltean caper. 

Since my Clyde is still home from school today, I have to bid you a slightly-slurred Adieu and stagger over to the fridge to prep his next dose of amoxycillin,

looking longingly at the bottle of Riesling in the door as I do.

At least I know, deep in my greasy, unwashed, sleep-deprived heart,

that somewhere, in the early-morning hours, near the sound of waves crashing onto a beach,

Nick is tossing back a shot for me.



By Jocelyn

There's this game put out by the American Girl company called "300 Wishes"--I really like playing it because then I get to marvel, "Wow, it's like I'm a real live American girl who has 300 wishes, and that doesn't suck, especially compared to being a dead one with none."


  1. Oh, I bet he's tossing back a shot for each of us.

    Hope the wee one feels better. Silas just got over his second round.

  2. I totally love it when people post photos of themselves on their blog. If the photo is less than flattering, so much the better. Doing so demonstates healthy self-esteem and a damned good sense of humor.

    You will notice that I do not put photos of myself, flattering or not, on my blog. Except once. A long time ago. In a galaxy far, far away.

    Hope Paco is on the mend. And that he doesn't share his germs with anyone else.

  3. I salute your bravery, for posting such …hm….to keep going with this sentence might be the wrong thing to do.
    Let me try again. I salute your honesty. Nick was forced to be honest in his photo – you had other options and chose not to take them. This must be part of why I like you so much.

    And I offer my condolences for your grandmother-in-law, who once meant the world to someone, I'm sure.

    You've had a very rugged time of it lately – but your humour is intact and for that, I am quite selfishly glad. And I will answer your email VERY soon.

  4. Ha ha! Hope Paco is better soon. Then you can tuck into that Riesling…
    Sorry about the loss of Groom's grandmother. That is never easy.
    Hope your next week is smoother.

  5. You people with great hair don't know what a really bad photo is. I'm just sayin'.

    Here's to everyone's improved health.

  6. what a week! Hope that you have a quiet weekend to be ready to take on next week. Of course, if you get sick, you could just stay in bed for several days, right??? (I'm sure that is how it works in your world about as much as it did in mine).

  7. oh honey, give the boy his antibiotic then get yourself that bottle of riesling and a bottle opener. really. it's completely medicinal.

    and may i say you could never be as disturbing as nolte. i don't know which is worse, the hair or the shirt.

    and with that i give you the spanish toast, "salud!" (health)

  8. I'm going to use that word "Noltean" in some sort of product, like steak sauce and put his mug shot on the bottle. yes, yes that would be so appetizing.

  9. Ha ha! I think the wine is a good idea – will make Paco's sickness seem like it goes by faster.

  10. oh no bestemor ! sorry for your loss.

    great pics – but you need to dip deeper into that riesling if you want that authentic nick nolte look, ya know…

    hope Paco is up and well again soon!

  11. Wow, I couldn't tell whether Nick's photo was real or not; he plays such a, um, convincing alcholic…

    I'm sorry for your loss, and hope Paco is better soon, and that YOU get some rest!

  12. mmmmmm
    Never fear, my dear, you are far from Nolte-esque,
    that Paco though, sorry, you didn't have a chance as the cute award with that kids around.

  13. My condolences on your family's loss.

    I'm sure that resting your head on the pillow felt 'O Mighty' good-once you finally found it.

  14. I have no idea what my "issues" were over this past weekend, but my mood probably looked -if one can look at a mood -about like that picture of good old Nick. Actually, I rather think most any photos of me present a person who pretty much looks like that in reality -all the time!
    It couldn't have been PMS in my case unless it is post-menstral syndrome or some such like that. But at any rate, I was feeling very much like Madame Crabbyappleton! That is, until after surveying the cars/trucks gathered for the Cruise my son and his girlfriend had organized I ventured into the bar, sat down and downed a couple of drafts. From there, I mosied along and stopped by our local Moose to enjoy a couple more brews and in the process, had some good conversations, a lot of laughs too, with some old friends I hadn't seen in eons and eons! Funny how sometimes when a bit out of sorts, just imbibing in a couple of brews can serve to lift the old spirit though, can't it? Thankfully, I stopped before I crossed that fine line between enough and too much -a line that usually I tend not to recognize until just after I've taken a sip of the brew that speaks to me and tells me the line was right back there at the beverage just finished and now -it's moving to the point of no return.
    Wonder if it is age or finally locating a smidgen of intelligence that came over me before I made the normal error of judgment? Anyway, I could say, maybe, that I tossed a few back in your name -as well as for Nick.

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