An Acceptional Tail

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17 Responses

  1. mist1 says:

    I love stuff like this. I caught myself typing the word “femail” the other day.

  2. furiousBall says:

    I was actually read the veranda rights at the Super Bowel once.

    I once typed Baloncey instead of Beyonce…that seemed funnier before…there was a baloney connection somehow.

    Engrish is all around us.

  3. Dorky Dad says:

    What?? Americans have no work ethnic? Why? I have work ethnic coming out of my eers!

    The nerve of some people.

  4. Christina_the_wench says:

    I always new their were victoria secretes. It’s about damn thyme someone brought them to lite.

  5. Jazz says:

    Super Bowel… How many football widows would actually LOVE to hear this phrase?

  6. Le Nightowl says:

    Fun is the best perk in any job 🙂
    I enjoyed your goofy hall of fame, although “the veranda rights suck” is still escaping me… 🙂

  7. Jocelyn says:

    Mist 1–“Femail” would entail an evelope with breasts, right?

    Furiousball–I can get a baloneyBeyonce connection, for sure. The question remains, though, why you were trying to type Beyonce in the first place. Do you have a not-so-secret obsession?

    Dorky Dad–I sensed this about you. I even saw it coming out of your ears.

    Christina the Wench–I’m still too busy admiring the photo of the Soccer Mom rear end to even notice what you’re typing.

    Jazz–I fear many football widows feel quite strongly that they live in the Super Bowels of Hell.

    Le Nightowl–The veranda rights are supposed to be the “Miranda Rights,” which, by law, have to be read to a criminal when he/she is being arrested. That’s the fun part of a cop’s job!

  8. michael says:

    My mom works in a bookstore and has similar perks as people butcher titles, especially when getting books as gifts that someone else requested. It’s the stuff of urban legends, but I recall she once had a customer who wanted a book called Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear. I need to check with my mom and see if that is true, or I really want it be true.

  9. Le Nightowl says:

    Thanks for explaining, I know about the Miranda rights but didn’t get the connection 🙂

  10. Pepper Medley says:

    This makes me laugh – and brought back one of my favorite teaching moments. I was a GI at Univ of IA and one of my students wrote a paper about _Othello_. In it, he described in great detail how Othello ‘constipated’ the murder of Desdemona.

    I think he went on to actually play in the Super Bowel.

  11. Steven Novak says:

    It does suck when someone is put on a pedal stool…

    Sucks, and stinks. 😉


  12. Lee says:

    When I worked at Tower Records oh-so-long-ago, a coupla smart-mouthed girls came in and demanded to know where “Smush It” by Salt-n-Pepa could be found. It was a lovely moment.

  13. Polyman3 says:

    I havn’t been privy to Victoria’s secretions yet, is there a waiting list? Is there mail order?

  14. velvet girl says:

    Victoria’s Secrete?! I almost spit a mouthful of wine on my laptop.

    How funny! You should send some of those gems to Richard Lederer. 😉


  15. heartinsanfrancisco says:

    I’ve been calling it Victoria’s Secretions for years. These are hilarious.

    Rancid notes are the scariest. They smell almost as bad as Super Bowel.

    My particular wicked amusement is misused quote marks. I have a collection of them which grows all the time.

    But what, pray tell, is a bingo dauber? Stuffing Grandma’s dog in the coffin is akin to burying spouse and servants with Egyptian Pharaohs. Euthanizing first, though… Nice touch.

  16. Jocelyn says:

    Oh, HeartsinSanFrancisco, a bingo dauber is a specialized marker that hardcore players use to mark off their numbers as they are called (no old fashioned chip placing for them). I think I watched a ROSEANNE episode once, about thirteen years ago, on which Shelly Winters, as her grandmother, used one.

  17. Glamourpuss says:

    Brings back memories – being an English teacher, marking was the worst part of my job. Makes me shudder to recall the agony of marking 80 exam papers while trying to teach a full timetable, write end of term reports and retain the will to live. All power to you.


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