Bite Me

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23 Responses

  1. mist1 says:

    My friend had fleas in her carpet once. They chewed my ankles up. I have this mole on my heel that for weeks, I swore was a flea trapped under my skin. I have only recently stopped trying to gouge it out.

  2. Lee says:

    Dear God Woman…get the to the doctor! I hope you don’t have those crazy worms that live under your skin and you have to shine a light and they peek their heads out and you pull them out by wrapping them ’round a pencil.


    That totally wasn’t helpful was it? It’s just that every time I get any bumps…that’s where I go. Hell.


  3. Rocco says:

    Sounds to me like you have a case of Montrooster’s Revenge. That’s what you get for hating om one of God’s creatures.

    That being said if it one of them worm thingies you got crawling under skin, I do holpe you get rid of them. I wish Uncle Fester and the twins a quick, irreversible death, God’s creatures or not.

  4. Rocco says:

    p.s. I just left you a message with a lot of typos. what’s that thing you call “proof-reading” that you teach in class?

  5. urban-urchin says:

    Ohhh oh I am now neuroticly scratching at my psychosomatic ‘itch’ spot- an area on my thigh that itches when I am in an area I perceive to be dirty (nasty skanky goodwills for example).

    Suck it up and get thee to a physician!! I’d hate to think of you with some funky parasite (google Botfly- it will make you scream and cower in the corner).

  6. Le Nightowl says:

    Well, you’re not being very sensible, what if it’s something contagious? You wouldn’t want your kids to start scratching, would you?
    You even got me scratching, by now… 🙂

    PS: your word verification is a strong deterrent to leaving a comment, although I understand the reason behind it 🙁
    By the time I have typed in my comment, I need to retype the long string of letters, sometimes several times because I took too long to type… grrrrrr

  7. Dorky Dad says:

    I scratch a lot, thanks to dry skin, so I feel your pain. That said, I concur with those urging you to visit the doctor.

    Central America + mysterious bites = reeeeeeallly creepy.

  8. Lone Grey Squirrel says:

    Thanks for sharing but GO SEE A DOCTOR!!! Central America has all sorts of surprises of the unpleasant kind.

  9. velvet girl says:

    Egads, now I’m all itchy! I feel for your suffering. I hate fleas and all sorts of crawling and burrowing skin-nasties (Chiggers, oooooh, *shudder*!)

    A doctor does sound like a pretty good idea.


  10. Jazz says:

    The wusses aren’t those who go to the doctor sweetheart, they are those who don’t… :-p

    OMG!!! I just read Lee’s comment. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

    At least the nasty parasites I brought back from my travels stayed well ensconced in my digestive tract.

  11. Jocelyn says:

    Mist1–Don’t stop the gouging. There might be one of those worms Lee writes about under there. Don’t deny yourself the pleasure of wrapping it ’round a pencil.

    Lee–Okay. So. I. Can’t. Even. Speak. More than anything, you’ve gotten me to riffle through my wallet for my health insurance card.

    Rocco–Had I known what strong feelings my rooster hatred would engender in you, I’d have stuck to just saying I hate kitties and things like that.

    Urchin–I think I most definitely cannot Google Botfly. You and Lee have scared me too much to Google anything. Plus, I seem to have a parasite, and it’s sucking the very Googling life out of me.

    Nightowl–I feel that I’ve just gotten a firm, yet affectionate, talking to (one I deserve). And I know what you mean about word verification. I didn’t used to have it, but Jazz told me I had to. I do whatever Jazz says.

    Dorky Dad–I never quite got the Goth thing down, so this is my late-in-life attempt to achieve creepiness.

    Lone Grey–Yea, one of Central America’s worst surprises was roosters who don’t know dawn when they see it.

    Velvet–If only you could come drive me to the doctor; we could shudder together.

    Jazz–How clever of you to keep your parasites so well contained instead of giving them free license as I have. Yea, you’re right about the doctor thing. The whole health scare system gives me a different kind of heebiejeebies.

  12. choochoo says:

    have you tried a cheese grater? or however you spell that…

  13. Glamourpuss says:

    Thanks, mate. I feel your itching, oh yes, I feel it good (scratch, scratch).

    Get thee to a doctor, forthwith!


  14. Dave says:

    You know … I think I am going to keep Guatemala off my itinery! 🙂

  15. Odat says:

    Ditto what Dave said and what Lee said…
    Get your ass to a doctor!!!
    Hope they don’t come a crawling thru the screen here!

  16. Em says:

    I found your blog cause you commented on another blog I read. And I’m glad I followed you! Oh, wait, I’m not a follower in the creepy, stalker kind of way. Okay? Good.

    Anyway, I read several of your posts and you definitely made me laugh! I’ll be back often!!

  17. CSL says:

    I don’t think you can “have fleas” all on your lonesome – either they are in residence and bothering everyone, or not. Chiggers and the like, you can. But this. If it some parastic or flesh-eating bacterial thing, are you waiting for Divine intervention? I’m with everyone else – get to the doctor before your limbs start dropping off! And then you can blog the hilarious course of treatment so it’s a win-win for us all.

  18. heartinsanfrancisco says:

    Sorry, Sweetie. It’s off to the doctor for you. This Thing, whatever it is, has already taken over your life.

    Please do get it checked out. There are medications, both internal and topical, that can make them go away. You can name them and dress them, but They Are Not Your Friends.

    I would rather suffer pain than anything that itches.

  19. urban-urchin says:

    Back to add- Well??? Whatcha got?

  20. Crankster says:

    “I often take to the bathroom for hours upon end, where I enjoy unfettered weeping and agitatedly rearrange the tampons into small village communities.”


    Go to the doctor. It sounds like the bumps are working their way towards your heart.

  21. Jocelyn says:

    Urchin–Thanks for checking back. I’m way too sheepish to post here that the bumps have stopped appearing, so I’m drawing heavily on denial and doing nothing. Actually, I am itch free, and the bumps are drying up so that I can enjoy the fun of peeling off their top layers, to look for the worm heads Lee mentioned. Seriously, though, if I get even one more, I’m off to the doctor. Yes, I know, my approach to my own health is infuriating. Even I can see that. But I have gotten a bang out of being told by so many to go visit my very introverted physician (I think she likes it when I come to visit her, as I talk non-stop and throw in lots of random stories, just to really spice up the five minutes we have together).

  22. Dan says:

    What can I say? Those little critters love you … or maybe they just like your John Travolta tote bag.

    Really! A Travolta tote bag? One can almost argue that you deserve this infestation because of that! 😉

  23. Steven Novak says:

    After I scratch I like to blow the flakes of my skin onto the person next to me.


    I’m a jerk. 😉


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