Author: Jocelyn
Things I’m Liking
That Duchess Kate takes her own pictures of her kids for press release rather than having a professional photographer manipulating their little selves into pleasing moments. It’s possible I’m a fan of mothers with cameras stop calling my children “long-suffering” admire this birthday portrait of Princess Charlotte That the nieces...
The Word “Gullible” Doesn’t Actually Appear in the Dictionary
Teddy said it was a hat, So I put it on. Now dad is saying, ‘where the heck’s the toilet plunger gone?’ –Shel Silverstein In Northern Minnesota, winter is long and spring capricious. By April, residents’ moods correlate to the thermometer. That’s why, on a rare, glorious, sun-drenched Saturday when...
No Shit
It’s almost midnight when I notice the hummock of wet tissue resting in the bottom of the hotel toilet. Two quick thoughts careen through my brain: “Where did all the water go?” and “Why would the Michelin Man come here to die?” My brain isn’t functioning at its peak; twenty...
The Week I Turned Fifty
Saturday: The Orientalist paintings of Ottoman artist Osman Hamdi Bey are my absolute favorites when it comes to puzzlin’. Each image conveys a snapshot of life from an era that now seems ancient but which, technically, only ended a hundred years ago — when my maternal grandfather was in his...
A Lion, a Giraffe, and a Picnic by a Lake
Introduction from Diane First, a bit about me. I was born in Boston and spent my teenage years wrestling with an urge to get out and see the world. For almost 20 years, I’ve taught linguistics at the University of Leeds in England. In 2004, I took a career break...
Sanctuary
Introduction from Diane First, a bit about me. I was born in Boston and spent my teenage years wrestling with an urge to get out and see the world. For almost 20 years, I’ve taught linguistics at the University of Leeds in England. In 2004, I took a career break...
The Second Day of Spring Break in 30 Messages to My Husband
1) I had Zinema popcorn for lunch. NOW THAT’S A HARDCORE SPRING BREAK MOVE. 2) I called to check on my stupid broken phone and was greeted by a bewildering “NOOO” shouted into the receiver when Ponytail Guy answered. After the shout, he hung up. So I called back,...
Framed by a Madman
“This is fricking insane!” I yelled at the paint on the walls periodically as I spent half an hour trying to place a single piece into my new puzzle. Jeezus, that paint wasn’t wearing well. Cracks everywhere. The slate color had always seemed appealing; mentally, I had complimented the previous...
