Free Launch

At some point in my twenties, my desire to have children became incontrovertible. Uh-HUH. I wanted kids. Fo’ sho’. This certainty necessitated a messy break-up with my 46-year-old vasectomized boyfriend of six years. I’m sorry, Jack. You had not the sperm I needed. Plus, you were kind of emotionally shattered and full of scary landmines.… Continue reading Free Launch

Wherein Jamie Lynn Spears Breaks My Bank

  Every time they want an increase in their allowance, the kids pull this kind of emotional blackmail. Niblet’s all, “But I’m scawwed at night and need someone to sleep wif me.” Damn that Zoey 101 episode the kids watched, where the dorm was haunted by a malicious and creeping slimy green mist. Niblet knew… Continue reading Wherein Jamie Lynn Spears Breaks My Bank