Category: sleep already

  • A Princess, Some Peas

    I was nestling into bed one night when my boyfriend observed, “Look at that grin. You never smile bigger than when you’re lying down in the bed at night.” At that point, although I didn’t yet have the perspective to see it, I was wading through my least-favorite decade of life: my twenties. Before my boyfriend–that…

  • Wherein Jamie Lynn Spears Breaks My Bank

      Every time they want an increase in their allowance, the kids pull this kind of emotional blackmail. Niblet’s all, “But I’m scawwed at night and need someone to sleep wif me.” Damn that Zoey 101 episode the kids watched, where the dorm was haunted by a malicious and creeping slimy green mist. Niblet knew…

  • Random Headlines from the Newspaper Printed Only in My Brain, Where Circulation Is Down

    Thornless Rose Discovered; Members of Poison Devastated There’s Nothing Dumber Than Owning a Small Horse Bindi Irwin’s Tamagotchi Experiences Painful, Lingering Death Jury Decides: Tony Danza Was the Boss Members of Rock Group America Ride Into Desert on Horse Named “Monty”; Unrelenting Rain Follows Dolly Parton Skydives Naked, Manages Blind Landing ————————- Sorry for the…