I Thought That I Should Never See/Poems So Stuffed With The Kiwi

19 Responses

  1. Monica says:

    HAHAHA! wonderful.. in only a few years the same lot will be using hours in the shower, in front of the mirror and empty your stock of shampoo/soap/deodorant/perfume faster than you can say teenager..

  2. Deborah says:

    I snorted coffee out my nose at ‘eating beaver’ and love the fact that you’re a fan of others’ judgmentalism. Sometimes I think I should try harder to be nice, but life isn’t nearly as much fun without a bit of snarkiness.
    |Have to say that sometime I worry you’ll be waylaid in a back alley by a somebody who’s target has been hit dead centre by your wit. But oh what fun you give the rest of us!. I was just reading in ‘Bird by Bird’ last night that the writer ‘is a person who’s standing apart, like the cheese in The Farmer in the Dell’ except that Anne Lamott goes on to talk about the necesary self-compassion of the writerr if she is to have compassion for others. Well, all I can say to that is that there’s compassion, and there’s observation and there’s humour and that the balancing act between the three is something you do extremely well.
    But seriously, did the sprinklers really come on??? I’m so gullible, Jocelyn – I’d really like to believe that part. By the time I got the end, I had to wipe off my screen.

    • Jocelyn says:

      I know what you mean about worrying that someone I’ve written about will try to shank me in an alley some day. Year after year, though, it becomes more obvious that one can’t overestimate how Not Interested In Others most people are. They’re in their worlds and heads and have no idea I’m out there. Also, I actually loved everyone in that room on poetry day; Rock Star Dad was awesome, and each of the kids was being brave and silly all at once. I would hope, if, say, Rock Star Dad happened across this post, he’d have no objection. Basically, I say he’s hilarious and his kid looks great, right?

      (oh, and, no: I make sh** up all the time; there was no lighter…no hair on fire…no sprinklers…)

      • Deborah says:

        I wrote a post in which I was snarky about a person in this little ex-pat community over here, and was promptly found out by the town gossip – a woman I had barely ever spoken to and had certainly never mentioned my blog to. That has made me wary, but then again, why should it??
        btw I just saw that ‘who’s target’ and am cringing. I do know better, Ms. P. Please don’t fail me.

        • Jocelyn says:

          It all boils down to how you’d feel if you were found out–as you were. How’d you deal with the town gossip? My feeling is that I’d have plenty to say to someone who wanted to discuss his/her appearance in a post. It wouldn’t be an attack, but it would be about my right to describe, in my own writing world, behavior as I perceive it. They are free to do the same in theirs.

  3. Jess says:

    You are just. The. Best. The smell of burning pubescent hair grease is so poetical.

  4. Friko says:

    Just a quickie in reply:

    I am seriously relieved that there are schools that still teach and celebrate poetry.
    Too few adults have any interest in it. (Yes, Deb. that goes for you too!)

    I have heard “not another bloody poem” quite a few times.

    Fire from a baby lighter? Hm. But I love the idea.

  5. Kathryn says:

    I’m having a bit of trouble believing the fiery ending, but the whole experience, listening, judging, snorting, wailing toddlers, hygeine-challenged tweens, struck a chord. I can practically smell the rotting lunches in the waste baskets! I always enjoyed matching the kids to parents; neatly shorn heads parented by mullets, burgeoning goths begotten by preppies, black kids with white moms, etc. Entire families with the same unfortunate nose (even mom and dad – CAN cousins marry?). Loved poetry in school, but only mastered the silly or rude, myself.

  6. Ah. Kids and poetry.
    And now for the rest of the day I shall wax on about “love, skies above, alone, I moan, be strong and belong.” I used to mentor teen poets. Great fun.
    And shame on rock star dad for missing the beaver joke. You are WAY hipper than him, clearly.

  7. A kid’s got to rebel and if the librarian look is the only way . . .

    I’m gullible, too–thank goodness someone else asked first!

  8. I’m a major judger. I am. School talent shows were a torment for me because I often end up doubled over. I’m glad me kids are past that.

  9. lime says:

    oh dear lord, you have reactivated my middle school induced PTSD…both from being that age and from student teaching that age. true story. my first daughter was conceived as a result of celebrating the end of that student teaching assignment in just a bit too carefree a manner. i knew i’d never have to go back to that classroom and was deeply relieved at moving on to the juvenile delinquent males at a maximum secure facility.

    and how fun would it have been to engage in judging by pelting the performers with rotten kiwis? too much? ok. i shall slink away in dishonor.

  10. kmkat says:

    I loved the idea of Rock Star Dad waving his Bic in the air. Too bad he didn’t think of it himself.

  11. Lil says:

    Now seriously, what’s the point of showing up at one of these things if you can’t judge?

  12. Meg says:

    I turn into a middle-schooler internally when I enter the place. I have to bite my tongue repeatedly to keep from snarking about the mean girls and their former mean girl mommas. Sometimes I fail.

  13. Pearl says:

    The girl is rebelling against Rock Star Dad. I love it.

    My own son, in rebellion against his left-leaning, DFL hippie-style mother, enjoyed a brief foray into music I don’t care for (both Country AND Western) and bought a gun rack for his pickup.

    Now that I think about it, I really should write that one.


    Inspirational, as always.


  14. “My brother likes to eat beaver…” Is that for real? Or was that just some poetic license on your part, just like the lighter and sprinklers part, which by the way, seriously had me cracking up. I make stuff up all the time too. 🙂 Oh, and middle school hair, don’t even get me started…Ultraviolet washes her hair and I also wonder if the shampoo even touched it, and even though she brushes it, it always looks like she’s just gotten up. I want to cut it so bad, but she won’t let me anywhere near it with scissors. Loved this post, Jocelyn, you captured the moment so well.

    • Jocelyn says:

      The beaver line was completely real. He was just listing stuff his brother likes to eat but was being goofy about it–little knowing the implications of “beaver.”

  15. chlost says:

    Many of my clients are middle school age. I should only hope that someone would teach them poetry, that they would then write poetry, and a group of adults (with or without parents) would listen to said poetry. Never. In a million years. But it could be so great for them. I am a very judgmental person, and even I am impressed. I’d love a piece of peace, btw.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *