The Richest Arrangement of Tints

20 Responses

  1. Well, welcome back to your former (normal) form of blogging! It’s been a while since you ripped into things, at least stateside anyway, but was a welcome read for my somewhat perverse frame of mind these days. Never having experienced any true culture shock myself, but having witness that in some of my friends when I managed to convince them to come up from D.C. to spend a weekend with me at the quaint little village in the mountains that I called “home” I doubt I’d have thought twice about seeing all the white. I think perhaps for me, the chocolate everywhere might have tugged a good bit on me -probably would have had to drag me away from a chocolate fountain -but camping with a big screen tv? Now that definitely would have told me there really are a whole hell of a lot of very, very strange people existing in the world today and holy rip, they are here, within our country’s boundaries and in abundance too. Why even spend the time and money to go “camping” if you’re gonna take the majority of your home along with you anyway? My head is still shaking now in a bit of disbellief on that one!

  2. Lil says:

    A flat screen while camping? I’m at a loss. Totally.

  3. chlost says:

    Oh, the big screen! How about the RV’s with air conditioning, showers, two (or more) tv’s-big and/or small screen, queen-size beds, full-sized stoves, refrigerators, and of course regular size toilets. This is how many people “camp”. I don’t understand it. I think it makes so much more sense to do as the nomads have done for centuries….just pack up the house and take the whole d*^& think with you on your back.
    Love those Culvers’ cheese curds, though!

  4. Bob says:

    Well – along with my tent, my coleman griddle and stove I do pack my laptop and an outdoor speaker. In my defense, this is when my and I friend can spend hours trading music.

    But there is absolutely no tv.

  5. I have never been to a KOA campground, but I’ve heard stories. Yikes!

    Well told, as usual.

  6. Not sure why I linked to my blog, since the owner hasn’t posted anything in at least a month! I frequently experience the Fear of Midwesterners, then feel guilty for being so snobbish, then disgusted when a conversation with one of them confirms my initial misgivings.

    Where does one go to escape, when one has no passport?

  7. Green Girl in Wisconsin says:

    I feel better–I often feel like a stranger in a strange land–particularly when I go out in public, like to a restaurant or when I walk at night and see everyone inside GLUED to glowing screens and I wonder WTF???
    Some culture shock indeed, honey. You went from culture to a cultural wasteland.

  8. Monica says:

    Come back to Europe – we’re indeed not at all as weird as those Americans… Allthough many want to be exactly like that…

  9. Pearl says:

    Why not. They’ve got TVs in cars now too… Seems if we have one unstructured moment to ourselves we might do something radical like THINK…


  10. Deborah says:

    Oh my goodness. How do you do it? As in, making a highly readable, hugely entertaining story out of what somebody else might just have treated as a straightforward and undoubtedly tedious rant.
    It’s all right too look down your nose at the Culver clientele and the KOA kampers, as long as you do it just like you did. I’m in total agreement but couldn’t have made my criticism nearly as funny. And that’s the thing about travelling, isn’t it? You can never look at home quite the same way again.

  11. lime says:

    i am glad the whole process of re-entry has so far been reasonably uneventful but oh yeah, the flat screen making you wish for a place where you get fried sheep intestines and the relative weirdness level being easier….yep. you got it. whoda thunk shalvars and headscarves would feel so normal a year ago huh?

    oh and i have a turkish man story i need to share on my blog. quite different than your stories but hit me like a sucker punch.

  12. MichiganME says:

    Wow, what a great post. We camped all the time when I was a kid – that’s 45+ years ago. I remember stopping at a campground called KOA and my sibs & I were so excited. It was such a departure from the usual camping venues with pit toilets, no electricity/running water/picnic tables or firewood. This place had grass, level ground, a camp store that sold firewood and candy bars, a pool, picnic tables, a field for playing outdoor games, electricity, BATHROOMS with showers and flush toilets and best of all—other kids!! We begged our folks to stay there 2 nights. MIME

  13. Friko says:

    I really don’t know what you are saying here:

    don’t you want to live in the land of unlimited possibilities? Where you eat till you wheeze, watch yourself into a stupor via a screen, and explore the great outdoors without having to step foot on a tussock of real grass?

    It’s progress, my dear, what could possibly be wrong with that?

  14. Ha ha ha! I needed this laugh. My version of this experience was Dollywood, where I was in perpetual cringe mode.

  15. sweffing says:

    As always, points well made with just the right humour coming in unexpectedly from left field. I could never have pulled it off as you have done. I think the sight of Nature being so firmly air brushed from the scene would have enraged me into searing fury, which would have turned off most readers. Well done. But oh the shame: not to be able to engage with the great outdoors and to always experience Life through a filter.

  16. I had an experience with a KOA “campground” many years ago and even w/o benefit of living in Turkey, thought it utterly, absurdly bizarre and as far removed from the natural world as Times Square, but in a less interesting way. I am intrigued by the thought of a chocolate slip ‘n’ slide, though.

  17. “muffled by the creaking sound of John Audubon rolling over in his grave.”

    Hahahahahahaha! And, having just visited the great state of Wisconsin for a couple weeks, I can attest to the weight those cheese curds add to one’s ass. Loved reading this.

  18. sqt says:

    We went “camping” in a cabin a few months ago with the in-laws. It was….weird. My mother-in-law decided she couldn’t miss the Casey Anthony trial so she ensconced herself in a chair in front of the television they brought and didn’t move for a week. Why bother leaving home?

  19. chlost says:

    The news of the earthquake in Turkey has made me think of you. I don’t know my geography, but wonder if the area where you were is close to the earthquake area. It looks quite grim. How are all of you doing now that everyone is truly back to the future here in the U.S. of A.?

  20. Jocelyn says:

    Chlost: The earthquake was in the east of Turkey, and we were in the central part. That said, the earthquake seems devastating; there was one that hit Istanbul and the west coast in 1999, and the country is still playing out the ramifications of that awful time. So my heart hurts.

    It seems almost wrong, then, to tell you how happy we are back home here.

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