Why I Can’t Return the Sour Milk

23 Responses

  1. Bijoux says:

    My thoughts while grocery shopping seem to focus on the weird music being played and how annoying every.single.shopper.is to me.

  2. Joanne says:

    I would have returned it. Did you?

  3. jenny_o says:

    It’s nice to know that I’m not alone with the running commentary in my head. But where yours is hilarious, mine just makes me forget to get important stuff. Like toilet paper or milk, come to think of it.

  4. chlost says:

    This is just so you! I love your life. I understand that Trader Joe’s accepts such returns without a receipt, just for future reference. In case this were to happen again.

    Back in the olden days of the 60s/70s there was a newspaper columnist named Erma Bombeck. She pictured a world in which every treat we denied ourselves would result in deducting that amount of calories from our bodies. I think it would only be fair. Let’s get the scientists working on that.

  5. ilyanna says:

    I like the people inside your head. I think they’d get along with my many personalities.

  6. kmkat says:

    I have just the thing for those no-tp-emergencies.

  7. Maria says:

    Green jello is addictive. I once nearly took Bing’s head off when I asked her to get green jello when I had a sore throat and she came home with red. IT. IS. NOT. THE. SAME. Must be green!
    I once wiped with one of gloves and then realized that I couldn’t put it back in my pocket, so put both in the sanitary napkin refuse box. SURPRISE!
    What is weird….there is that same exact woman in my grocery store. I think there’s one in every store….

  8. MsD says:

    We’ve all been in that stall. So. Damn. Funny.

  9. Lil says:

    And that’s why Hubs takes care of buying the food. I’d probably never get out of the supermarket.

  10. Friko says:

    I’m too busy scanning the shelves to spend time in actual musings. I rarely ever check my list until I’m standing in the check-out queue which is not good. But by then I’m usually too cross with the whole rigmarole of shopping to give a flying f**k and forgotten items. However I never miss the muffin aisle.

    I have been having trouble getting here; I’ve put in for email notification, let’s hope that works better than blog-rolling you or following.

  11. sharyl says:

    Ha! Great tale, Jocelyn. For some reason, I couldn’t help but think of powder milk–as in powder milk biscuits, those treats that give shy people the strength to get up and do what needs to be done–or was that Beebop-A-Ree-Bop Rhubarb Pie? Anyway, lots of fun!

  12. Chuckling, chuckling. On my way to the grocery momentarily. Will shop with a totally different mindset after reading this.

  13. Bone says:

    If I don’t see a post from you for a while, I’ll chalk it up to vaginal ink poisoning.

  14. Bone says:

    Should that’ve been “awhile” instead of “a while?” I’m going to stress over this the remainder of the evening, and possibly a good portion of the morrow.

  15. sweffling says:

    I so love the fact that I have come across somebody else whose life reflects mine in the matter of eccentricity, if different in event! And you write about it so wonderfully, I was there in the cubicle with you;) Life is never dull if one is observant and thoughtful; thank you for brightening up our days:)

  16. pia says:

    I love your ruminations. They make mine seem well even weirder.
    Nuiitrionists have decided protein bars are a horrible meal substitute or snack.
    Uncooked oatmeal in a small mason jar with any kind of milk or Greek yogurt and blueberries–the new protein bar.

    • Jocelyn says:

      I never use protein bars as a meal substitute–only for an afternoon snack (which is then why I have to try to find the ones with under 200 calories…). I tried the oatmeal in a mason jar thing and was NOT a convert; the texture was, errrr, not appealing to me!

  17. Kate says:

    This made me laugh loud enough to wake Chuck up.

  18. I was going to say your grocery shopping sounds like mine until I got to the bathroom bit. Then yeah, not so much. Actually before that, since not a single pair of my undies has a tag in it.

  19. Anette says:

    Oh how fantastic! I’ve been out of the blogging world for a while, (posting and reading) but kept my favourite bookmarks, (thank heavens) came back to you, and you made me laugh just as you used to do! Thanks!! I’ll be back of course!

  20. Meg says:

    What kind of brownies did you have as pre-shopping snax? Inquiring minds want to know.

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