Random Headlines from the Newspaper Printed Only in My Brain, Where Circulation Is Down

Thornless Rose Discovered; Members of Poison Devastated

There’s Nothing Dumber Than Owning a Small Horse

Bindi Irwin’s Tamagotchi Experiences Painful, Lingering Death

Jury Decides: Tony Danza Was the Boss

Members of Rock Group America Ride Into Desert on Horse Named “Monty”; Unrelenting Rain Follows

Dolly Parton Skydives Naked, Manages Blind Landing

Sorry for the “filler” post; it’s been a particularly packed week, with softball games, kids at camp, friend visiting, gardening, and crazed online students. At this very minute, my ass is doing a weird locked ‘n screaming thing–I’ve been on it so long this morning in front of the computer, grading discussion postings and “reading logs.”

Later today, though, I have an ass-ectomy scheduled, so that should alleviate my woe.





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12 responses to “Random Headlines from the Newspaper Printed Only in My Brain, Where Circulation Is Down”

  1. lime Avatar

    i’m glad the ass-ectomy is scheduled for thsi afternoon. i shudder to think i could perhaps read a headline about you similar to the one about the lady whose flesh was welded to her toilet because she sat there for 5 years or so.

  2. furiousBall Avatar

    I heard about that rose, it truly was the rock of love

  3. Vanessa Avatar

    I love the small horse headline!

  4. chelle Avatar

    Dolly wha? hehe

  5. citizen of the world Avatar
    citizen of the world

    Sounds like someone needs a little time off!

  6. Hammer Avatar

    Funny stuff!

  7. Claire Avatar

    Let us know how the ass-ectomy goes, ok?

  8. Glamourpuss Avatar

    I reckon your president needs one of those operations…

    Good luck with the end of term madness.


  9. Em Avatar

    Very funny stuff. And always good to hear about your ass. LOL

  10. Jazz Avatar

    An assectomy. I need one of those.

    PS: even your filler posts are hilarious.

  11. pistols at dawn Avatar
    pistols at dawn

    Man, ass-ectomy sounds all hot at first, but you know it’s totally not.

  12. Steve Avatar

    No apologies allowed in Blog land. In skimming mode, I appreciate headlines more than you know!

    Blog Reader’s Eyes Drop, Bounce off Keyboard, and Roll to Floor

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