Dear Jeebus and Pilgrims Who Are Dead: I Am Thankful For Teaching That Is Never Dull


A follow-up to my previous post.

After a few days of putting out feelers, I managed to hook up Mindy with an office on campus that helps with things like food and cars and telephones. Now, dauntless, even in the face of an STD, Mindy continues to spread her witless charm throughout the Land of Freshman Composition.

Mindy Moment #2:

After class last week, she began chatting up a classmate that she knows vaguely, someone more interesting than most:

Her: Are your parents tall, like you?

Him: No, not really. I’m trying to remember–I was always small and scrawny, but then we moved somewhere, and I shot up. It was traumatic. Hmmm. Where did we move? I think we moved to Indonesia, and then I was starting a new school–

Her: Wait? What do you mean, like, Indonesia? I’ve heard of that continent! Why would you move there?

Him: Just my parents’ work. It was just their jobs.

Her: What is their job?

Him: My dad’s a diplomat, but it’s not a big deal; it’s just his job.

Her: WAIT. A diplomat? So you’re all rich?

Him: No, not rich. My dad just works. He has a job, and part of it is that we moved around.

Her: OH. MY. GOD. He’s a diplomat? That’s, you mean, like, he’s the duke to the king?

Him: (incredulous silence) (then a beat) (more incredulous silence) I, bwah…derflup…huh?

Me: (stepping in for the save; reaching out and patting Mindy’s shoulder affectionately) Yes, Mindy. That’s right. His dad is the duke to the king…of the United States of America. The duke to our king. It really is a great honor. Maybe one day, you can work for the king, too, holding his mirror or combing out his wigs. Reach for the stars, Peanut.



By Jocelyn

There's this game put out by the American Girl company called "300 Wishes"--I really like playing it because then I get to marvel, "Wow, it's like I'm a real live American girl who has 300 wishes, and that doesn't suck, especially compared to being a dead one with none."


  1. it’s a pity mindy is so young, otherwise she’d have fit perfectly as a diplomat for the lame duck administration i can’t wait to be rid of.

  2. My husband is a duke to a king.

    Awesome. I will tell him when he gets home at 9 tonight on the day after Thanksgiving.

  3. I’ve just come home from a lunch with abundant wine, so this story is making me laugh even more than usual…or not, I usually laugh my ass off with your stories even without wine. What keeps me guessing is whether or not these characters are real or just figments of your very fertile imagination. 🙂

  4. Hmmm. Perchance the entire U.S. foreign policy was designed by intelligence personnel of similar caliber?

  5. OK, that was crazy, but what you’re really holding back on is that this tall young man with the Indonesian childhood is really Barack Obama.

    Will he complete the course before his next term begins?

  6. Of course her name is Mindy.

    She has a B-average? This makes me exceedingly curious about your other students.

    I, too, have always wanted to see the continent of Indonesia. I went to the doctor (before he died) and he gave me sleeping pills to help with that.

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