All I Know Is I Sure Ate A Lot of Jelly Bellies As These Photos Uploaded


Alternate titles in the running for this post were “Doing Our Part to Revive the Economy”; “At Least It Got Us to Dust”; and “So, I Suppose If We Have a New Kitchen, That Means We Should Wash the Dishes?”

Naturally, because my brain is cacaphonous and full of conflicting shouts and yips, I have yet another option: “Some Weeks, I Find Myself All Balled Up Inside Because I Have No Time to Write.” The subtitle for this option would read: “Groom Is Doing His Stint Today as a Newspaper Reader on the Radio for the Sight Impaired, and Paco’s Testing for His Orange Belt Tonight, Followed by a Soccer Game, Followed by a Parent Meeting for Girl’s Class Regarding an Upcoming Trip to an Environmental Education Center, and, Oh Yea, I’m Also Having a Garage Sale This Weekend, and Because My Neighbors Rock, They’re Letting Me Use Their Garage, and That’s So Cool Because Our Patch of Asphalt Could Not Be More Low Rent, but That Also Means I’ve Spent the Last Two Days Not Only Dredging and Pricing but Then Carrying Every Last Damn Piece of Crap the House Is Pooping Out Across Two Lawns–Oh, One More Thing, I’m Also Trying to Find Time to Grade a Passle of Run-Ons Activities, Get to the Grocery Store, and Go for a Sanity-Maintaining Run on a Beautiful Trail Where I Can Smell Some Pine Trees and Remember All That Is Good.”

That last title’s kind of catchy, inn’t?

Adding to the kerfuffle has been the in-and-outing of construction guys and carpet layers (new rug on the back porch, as the old one got trashed during the kitchen work) and the fact that each of them is very chatty and has to ask me if I have a wrench and, inexplicably, an iron. Then I make them mochas and find out they hate their jobs and bemoan the lack of healthcare in this country, and before you know it, there’s another hour I’ll never get back.

Yet, somehow, it’s all a bit of giddy fun at the same time. I kind of like making mochas for people, a skill that could come in very handy, should this teaching gig ever get tired. Mocha-making, coupled with a penchant for random chat, could turn me into Starbucks with personality, friends.

Anyhoodle, as of yesterday, the interior of the kitchen is done (a bit of exterior work remains). And, yes, I know I’ve rather gone on this summer about the remodel and have posted pictures time and again, but since we aren’t so much Christians at our house but more Foodstians, I guess I can’t help myself. It’s like some disciples came and built us a new worship space.

So here goes again: the most recent views of the narthex, the pews, and the altar.

Tony, the tiler, came last week and put in the backsplash. White subway tile is almost as nummy as homemade croutons (which is what Groom’s got drying on the counter there).

Backsplash from a distance. You can also see a silver-bullet looking flask on the island; I got that for Paco, in an attempt to get him to take a stainless steel water bottle to school. It has a skull on the front, and that has made all the difference. That skull is at first grade today. I think Paco is, too.

Technically, this would be the altar, methinks. Miss Silva, vixen of the village of Rancilo, has had me on my knees, kowtowing in gratitude, more than once.

The hood here–with the push of a button–rises majestically out of the countertop. In the presence of such technology, every testosterone-driven being who has come into the kitchen in the last two days finds himself struggling to catch a full breath. Gasping, the individual in question eventually asks, “Can I push the button again and watch it retract? And then push the button again and watch it come up?”

The vanity in the new half-bath has been installed. Get this: when you add another sink and toilet to the house, that means there’s ANOTHER SINK AND TOILET THAT NEED CLEANING.

My antidote for this? Don’t clean.

Groom painted the back porch, and then a really sketchy guy who seemed suspiciously tight with his bottle of glue came, cursed a lot, and installed the free carpet (kitchen remodelers paid for it).

What were you doing at 9:34 last night? I was shrieking at the appearance of yet another disembodied head in my day. The first one had been that of a Barbie (I put a price tag of $.10 on it). This second one looks like Librarian Ken’s, eh?

Part of the domino effect of switching up the kitchen was the floor refinishing and–aw, what the hell–a rearrangement of furniture. Most important is the presence of the Playmobil castle on the radiator, of course.

See the heap of junk on the sideboard there? This morning, I carried it across two lawns and tossed it into a garage. With any luck, some poor sod who needs a fleece ballerina blanket will drive through my neighborhood this weekend.

You know, overall, as the various projects start to move towards a close, it’s not so much about “stuff” and “having” and “shedding” as it is the creation of a space–and a house can be synergistic, more than the sum of its parts–that feels right,

a space that feels like a haven from the meetings and kid activities and grading,

a space that makes me want to take Communion.

In my case, of course, Communion consists of Triscuits and a hell of a lot of wine, often sucked straight from the bottle.

I would use a glass.

But with all the household transitions, I can’t find one.






25 responses to “All I Know Is I Sure Ate A Lot of Jelly Bellies As These Photos Uploaded”

  1. yinyang Avatar

    I don't understand the appeal of backsplash. But, everything else looks nice.

  2. Fragrant Liar Avatar
    Fragrant Liar

    You need a vacation.

    But the house is looking fabulous!

  3. heartinsanfrancisco Avatar

    It's wonderful! Yep, Making things go in and out with a pushbutton is probably some kind of male Nirvana.

    You must be exhausted. Try not to sell your children at the neighbor's garage. You might regret it later, especially if the ballerina blanket doesn't find a new home.

  4. Star Avatar

    Good luck !

  5. lime Avatar

    it's so beautiful, all of it. i may be a christian but i am open to worship in this type of sanctuary. when will services be held and are the BYOB?

  6. Jazz Avatar

    In my case, of course, Communion consists of Triscuits and a hell of a lot of wine,

    In my case it's RiceWorks rice chips.

    And that kitchen is spectacular…

  7. Becky Cazares Avatar
    Becky Cazares

    Haven is right. And subway tile is almost as scrumptious as transoms! And remodeler-paid carpet, yum!

  8. powdergirl Avatar

    Thanks for the reassurance over at Liars house.
    I'm even Norther than you are, so maybe I can brave it up a little and do the boob mash like I'm told I have too : )

    No time to read your post this AM, but I'll be back. Great pics!

  9. Green Girl in Wisconsin Avatar
    Green Girl in Wisconsin

    As always, you crack me up–Hope the orange belt test went well, and I heart your new kitchen even more. Here's to big sales of your stuff so you can enjoy all your new space (hee hee hee).

  10. Chantal Avatar

    Good God, just reading that made me tired. I am off to have a nap for you.

  11. Anonymous Avatar

    It makes me happy to think of your happy home. I'll have to arrange for a visit soon.


  12. Hannah Avatar

    Your kitchen looks great! I would kill to have a bigger kitchen with an island. 🙂

  13. Michelle Wells Grant Avatar
    Michelle Wells Grant

    Can I move in? It's so new and clutter-free! This is wonderful though, because you're starting anew in many ways and ain't nuthin' bad about that! I'll bet you dollars to donuts that you will really notice the effects of this "cleansing" show up soon. Love, love, love your writing! And I thought I was the only one on the planet who can't get it all done! HA!

  14. Midlife Jobhunter Avatar
    Midlife Jobhunter

    Hahahaha! Swilling from the bottle is much more efficient.

    The house looks fabulous, darling. I think I could be very comfortable. Especially with a mocha in hand, watching the falling leaves. I'll have to leave before the snow flies, however. When can I move in?

    FYI non-football fan, from my post – Green Bay Packers fans are not fond of the Minnesota Vikings. Especially since their beloved quarterback retired and then showed up in a Viking uniform. Of course, they do say he has been throwing interceptions to the Vikings for years, so should do well there.

  15. chelle Avatar

    I (heart) you.
    You used kerfuffle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    The house is FABULOUS!
    I am loving the kitchen!

  16. Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings Avatar
    Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings

    Your posts are a serious treat to my day. I love the new looks and the disembodied head. Maybe the head thing is only because it is late, I've had a long day (but fun) and well…..I needed that laugh! May things calm down for you and your head become a bit clearer!

    (Trust me, it's not happening for me so let it happen for you!)

  17. monica Avatar

    I hear you. To sum it up, ref the 15 lines title there; the first and last word: Groom – good. That's you. And you are so lucky! and so is he! :o) I would love to have one of your mochas…

  18. Karen MEG Avatar
    Karen MEG

    Wow, Jocelyn, just WOW!

    But yeah, I think you need to take a vacay too :).

  19. secret agent woman Avatar
    secret agent woman

    I'm still loving the cabinetry. I think your living room, or whatever that is, is a very similar color to my kitchen. Sort of a butternut squash soup color.

    And hope the garage sale goes well -getting rid of extra stuff is so freeing.

    (Thick bread and a hell of a lot of wine for me, thanks.)

  20. Jeni Avatar

    The younger of my girls -the one who lives with me, along with her husband and their kids and his kid, etc. -is the yard sale queen! Loves to go to 'em and also, loves the idea of having one. Not so strong though on the actual running of said business though as she tends to have to float around the neighborhood to see what everyone else is offering -and bring some of their stuff home with her then! I keep trying to get her to understand the objective here but so far, no luck.
    The remodeling though -WOW -looks superb! Such a relief though when it gets close to being finished and you can start using bits and pieces, then all of it though! My place needs a new redo but no moola for that so will have to suck it up and deal with what got done here 20 years ago.

  21. actonbell Avatar

    Oh, great post! Enjoyed it, as usual:) The new kitchen looks fantastic, and I'm jealous that you're getting so much done. And I miss rearranging the furniture, it's been a long time since I've done that, and I'm home alone tomorrow…of course, there are other things I need to do. Oh, and about cleaning bathrooms: Grooms are better than that than we are, it's something we just have to accept.

  22. Jenn @ Juggling Life Avatar
    Jenn @ Juggling Life

    White tile makes me swoon.

  23. geewits Avatar

    I think the vast majority would rather have to clean an extra toilet that have to wait for one to become available.

  24. Logophile Avatar

    You should invite me over for an evening worship service

  25. Yo is Me Avatar
    Yo is Me

    gorgeous. i'll be right over.

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