Do Not Embellish Your Temple

Apparently, it’s International Women’s Day, which means I should be posting pre-packaged sentiments on Facebook that urge the world to treat dames better.

I get that. Let me assure you I am made legitimately irate by the ongoing, centuries-old maltreatment of women. See how I made a sign, even?

Women's Day001

Feel free to make that viral on Facebook by midnight. Use your powerful, capable typing hands to copy and post it into the zeitgeist!

My powerful, capable typing hands would like to take a moment to assert this thesis, however:

The best way to elevate the respect and esteem accorded to women is to stop wearing excruciatingly awful trash like this–

LA Idol Jeans White Leather Jester Bootcut 3005LP

Certainly, it’s a First World problem, this trend of embellishing one’s buttocks with rhinestones and metallic crap. I understand that the truly-sobering barriers women face are more heartbreaking and deep than this.


If you are a woman, and if you are fortunate enough to have the ability and economic power to choose what you put on your body,

don’t be ridiculous.

Treat yourself with the dignity and regard that you wish the world would afford to women.

It starts at home, and you are your own home.

Consider this: as you move through your life every day, in millions of mundane ways, you are teaching the world how you expect it to treat you–how you expect it to treat all of us.

Be a meaningful lesson.

Keep the zirconium off your ass already.




16 responses to “Do Not Embellish Your Temple”

  1. Erin Avatar

    Well said. Isn’t that a weird trend? I can’t believe how many men are wearing them too. It’s just bizarre. While you are at it, could you ban pants (sweats or otherwise) with a word across the arse. Especially if that word is “precious” or “diva”? I once taught a 5th grader with jeans that said “precious” across her 11 year old behind in rhinestones. I kid you not. WHY would you dress your child in something designed to make people look at their posterior? So creepy.

  2. kmkat Avatar

    Love the hand-written manifesto! In fact, I loved it so much I stole it and put it on my own blog. Thanks!

  3. Choochoo Avatar


    And none of that I-wear-glasses-with-windowglass-in-them-that-I-bought-on-eBay-cause-they’re-hip bullcrap, either.

  4. chlost Avatar

    See, we all have our versions of Inappropriate Clothing Which Takes Away the World’s Respect For You As A Woman. I will admit that I am likely just an old, crabby lady. But I swear that I did not go to law school and work my butt off so that female attorneys could wear skirts up to the ying-yang with low-cut blouses, bare legs, and open-toe, four inch stiletto heels. Really. How does that make you a person to be taken seriously?
    That and wearing anything with “juicy” across the butt does not help the cause for equal treatment.
    Okay, I am done. Glad I got that off my chest.
    Thanks, and Happy International Women’s Day to you, too.

  5. lime Avatar

    i’m thinking we craft a bedazzler ban. whaddya think? anw, no good. there are too many other ways for broads to be trashy….

  6. Secret Agent Woman Avatar

    The sparkly pants are silly, but less problematic to me than the embellished body parts. Like plastic-filled breasts. I’d love to see that trend go away fast.

  7. Bone Avatar

    I think that should become the internationally accepted logo for International Women’s Day. The sign, not the sparkly butt.

  8. Robin Avatar

    Oh the list that could go one from here. I share your sentiment. I detest the subtle (or not so subtle) message that many women inadvertently send with their wardrobe: I am an object. I can be adorned and embellished and re-decorated in accordance with each season’s trends. But yet many, many women seem to genuinely enjoy this activity and the process of adorning themselves. I can’t tell if it is in response to society or if society needs to change its view of what is legitimate activity. In other words, do we devalue this because it is silly or because it is primarily a female trait/affinity/tradition? And then I get confused and tired and put on my sweatpants and set off to do whatever it is that I want/need to do that doesn’t involve thinking about the feminist perspective of bejeweled butts.

  9. Jenn @ Juggling Life Avatar

    Them are some bling-y buttcheeks on those pants. Excellent point.

  10. A Cuban In London Avatar

    I loved your sign. It had the right mix of humour and wit. Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

  11. Ann in NJ Avatar

    Hear hear! Would you believe I had never heard of International Womens Day until I took Russian in college? And to this day I still think of the Russian phrase for it as soon as I hear the English. Mezhdunaroni Zhenski Dien!

  12. Lil Avatar

    Doesn’t it hurt to sit on all those rocks?

  13. Jess Avatar

    Amen, sister. Also, sitting on all that bling canNOT be comfortable. If there’s one thing women should do more of, it’s sitting around and letting men bring them things. Like sandwiches. I make it a habit to sit on my non-adorned butt at least once a day and demand that my husband bring me a frosty beverage of some sort. And I make him say, “As you wish,” when he hands it to me because that way I know he’s really saying, “I love you.”

  14. Kimberly Robinson Avatar
    Kimberly Robinson

    At least the ones pictured fit the model, usually when I see those on the ladies around here, they are paired with a too-small tank top and the jeans are undersized as well, the resulting look being “slowly swallowed by a denim anaconda”.

  15. Meg Avatar

    I blinged my nose, not my butt, because I’d like the world to look me in the eye, dammit. I am all about R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Giving it, getting it, teaching it to the next generation.

  16. My Inner Chick Avatar

    Haaaa. This post made me smile…
    but also made me sad cause my ass can’t fit in those glittery jeans!

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