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31 Responses

  1. furiousBall says:

    I’m actually going to do a fund raiser involving Simon Cowell. First he’s going to spend all day with several wads of Silly Putty flattened on his chest. Next, we’re going to extract them with salad tongs and auction off the hairy putty balls.

    Sweet, I finally got to use the phrase “hairy putty balls”.

  2. frannie says:

    I love asparagus!!! sounds yummy. I roast mine with red peppers and drizzled with italian dressing and parm. cheese. yummy!

  3. oreneta says:

    OK, I’m really really hungry.

    Only problem, lots of gorgeous asparagus here….but feta????

    *wail*

    I haven’t seen any yet!

    I do keep seeing old ladies wandering contentedly, and avariciously out of the mountains with -get this- stalks of wild asparagus they’ve hunted down…I’ll have to ask how they cook it, without feta…

    I’ve never found any…

    *sob*

  4. Tracey says:

    Interesting. I’ve cooked turkey the same way. With smoke, that is, and detectors sadly with batteries.

  5. Jeannie says:

    I happy to own at least 3 copies of the Joy of Cooking and that recipe is not in any of them. However, I am very likely to actually try your recipe without any of the forbidden substitutions because I will probably sing Hotel California instead of Stairway to Heaven. I love asperagus. So do some of my children but I’m not sure which and one of the ones that does is far far away so no sharing – and my husband hates them. So I will only have to spar with probably one person to eat these suckers. Oh and maybe not even that if the one that likes asperagus is also the one who is allergic to feta – yay me!
    By the way, you would do well to publish a cookbook. It could be 479 pages long and contain only 3 recipes. And people would rush to buy the next one in the series.
    Thanks.

  6. Jill says:

    Mmmm, sounds tasty. I love asparagus just about anyway it can be prepared, but, for the love of god, never never never eat asparagus out of a can. A can somehow transforms lovely asparagus into green mush. Ick.

  7. Bon says:

    you are forgiven the recipe, because it sounds really good.

    but i wish you gave out samples. 🙂

  8. velvet girl says:

    Wow, this almost makes me wish that we could have dairy products in the house.

    I’ve never been a fan of asparagus, but perhaps it’s because I never had a recipe like this one. Time to peruse Fine Cooking for a suitable alternate asparagus recipe to try.

  9. Theresa says:

    I’m still laughing so hard I can hardly type. “Ultra-extra-non-Paris-Hilton-but-rather-still-a-virgin olive oil”, that is too funny. We’ve got “extra virgin”, will that do? Although, I’ve no idea how something can be extra virgin, it must be some kind of supervirgin. I can just see a superheroine with SV on her chest, going out to save all those tempted by living a life of sin.

  10. Em says:

    I do love asparagus…but maybe not enough to follow an entire recipe. But no matter how many recipes you post, I’ll be back cause you make even an asparagus recipe interesting and fun!

  11. Karen says:

    Asparagus is icky but I do love the way you tell a story 🙂

  12. Fresh Hell says:

    Asparagus spears and artichokes are one of the ways I won over my 5 year old niece. She is a creature unlike any other. You have to watch her like a hawk when you start getting to the heart of the artichoke though. In one fleeting blink of an eye, the little f’er will have it down her gullet whilst pointing and laughing at your misfortune for not being as quick as she is. Real cutie!

  13. WanderingGirl says:

    O.M.G. I’m running to the store tomorrow to buy as much asaparagus as they have (the good stuff, not the stuff the size of saplings) and eating as many pounds of asparagus as my stomach can hold. I love broiled asparagus but had never thought about the feta… and I LURVE feta! Thanks!!!

  14. Shari says:

    Love asparagus!!

    You are forgiven for writing a recipe story.

    I’ll be back.

  15. mist1 says:

    I adore asparagus. Unless it’s woody. I love woodies.

  16. choochoo says:

    you made my stomach rumble. I like cooking, but I don’t like cleaning up. Cleaning up makes me wanna kill someone. And cook them. Well, no, not really.

  17. Glamourpuss says:

    I am so glad we got rid of that Cowell fellow – he’s a wrong ‘un.

    I love asparagus but asparagus pee makes me gag.

    Delicious recipe. Delicious writing Jocelyn.

    Puss

  18. Jazz says:

    Here’s a great asparagus recipe (this way I can post a recipe without doing on my blog. Ha)

    1) Follow Jocelyn’s instructions for preparation.

    2) Roast the asparagus on the barbeque (and PLEASE, remember to lay them out crosswise from the grate).

    3) since you can’t shake the Bar-B around like J does, use your tongs to make sure they’re roasted all around.

    4) While Mr. Jazz (or Mr. Whoever)is cooking up the asparagus, make a vinaigrette with olive oil, balsamic vinager and shallots.

    5) Grate parmesan cheese.

    6) When the plate of asparagus enters the house, kiss the cook(it’ll make him feel good about himself and… well… moving along…), toss the asparagus with the vinaigrette, sprinkle with cheese (lots of it in my case, but you can act civilized about it if you want)

    7) Scarf it down.

  19. Top cat says:

    This sounds delicous but I have a better recipe.
    Open 1 or 2 cans of DelMonte Asparagus
    place in microwave safe container
    Heat on High for 2 minutes
    drain liquid, top with favorite topping and spice
    eat
    Prep time: 3 minutes

    yum yum
    tc

  20. Diana says:

    I will make this this weekend and hum your name in blissful gratitude. I’ve a bottle of the extra virg (with some essence of lemon, no less) at the ready and will grab some fresh feta. My only concern is if the asparagus of this week is a sad as that which was for sale last week, I will have to postpone and go in search. No. Must keep good, positive thoughts. I’m sure the store keeps the good stuff in the back store rooms. I just have to steal a smock and a name tag and I’m in.

    (ps: You’d better be posting more of these little gems of recipes.)

  21. Lee says:

    You kill me.

  22. Tracey says:

    And…um…tag. (Don’t hate me, you just ran slower than the other bloggers! Probably because your tummy was full of asparamahoosits.)

  23. Diesel says:

    I live just south of the home of the Asparagus Festival, and I still can’t feign interest in this recipe. Also, I’m pretty sure that if you eat asparagus without bacon wrapped around it, you’ll be poisoned.

  24. Logophile says:

    mmmm,
    Im waiting for you to come bring me mine
    😀

  25. lime says:

    gees i am glad you clarified that we shoudl sing the ABC song 7 times and not innagadadavida….i mean the full version is 17 minutes and all those precious asparaguses…asparagii…whatever the hell the plural form is…would be burt to a crisp and if youhadn’t taken out the smoke detector batteries, sweet jesus, i don’t wnat to imagine the flapping that would occur as youbatted at the thing with your silicone mitt. ok well, that and i don’t even kow all the words to the iron butterfly classic, ABC song is easier for my poor motherheimers afflicted brain…

    and hey, if my old post about how to properly fold a fitted bedsheet didn’t drive em away, a recipe certainly won’t!

  26. Claire says:

    Mmmm…delicious post J.
    Recipe posts are A-ok w/ me!

  27. BeachMama says:

    What a delicious sounding recipe. And your writing is just fabulous.

  28. Mother of Invention says:

    Recipes with a kick of attitude, spice and humour! You should write a book of them! It does sound like a long time to broil them at 500 and I’m sure my fire alarm would go off, just as it did the last time I cooked…and burned steaks…and everyone in the front of our house, relaxing for their massage and chiropractic appointment sat bolt upright as I entered the office yelling, “What’s the code for the Alarm system?!! Quick!” Had to phone it in as a false alarm and they were just about to send the trucks out! So you see, I REALLY don’t want to be burning anything!

    Love feta so I’ll try this, albeit it a tad reluctantly! Feta also great with cut up cucumber, tomatoes and avocado with drizzled red wine vinegar and garlic topped with sunfower seeds..and no broiling!

  29. Princess Pointful says:

    That was the most entertaining recipe ever.
    Can I still do it without Simon?

  30. That Chick Over There says:

    Never had asparagus in my life, but might now. 🙂

    Also? I found a way to incorporate the phrase: Jocelyn’s third leg into my blog. I’m so pleased.

  31. urban-urchin says:

    Gonna try this tomorrow- thank you for posting it. You wrote one of the most entertaining recipes I’ve read in a while. Have you read Anthony Boudrain’s Les Halles? His recipes are funny.

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