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28 Responses

  1. jen says:

    you just keep doing your scat thing, girlfriend. and it’ll all be just fine.

  2. liv says:

    i’m so glad that i’m not the only mom to talk to her small boy this way. ‘ceptin i’m hoping to get some kind of gig in kabuki make-up and a cleopatra bob as back up for gwen stefani. they don’t even have to give me a special name ‘cuz i just want to DANCE, DANCE, DANCE!

    (oh, and since i seem to have raving girl crushes all over these internets, you should know i gots my good eye on you)

  3. geewits says:

    I think it’s hilarious that he thinks the pain radiates out. I’ve never heard of that. I’m also a big fan of both Fergies and think the four of us should hang out together some day. Oh wait, Craig doesn’t drink.

  4. choochoo says:

    Just keep doin’ you scat thing. You can only get better, you know. Unless you get worse.

  5. Theresa says:

    I can just see Niblet in the futer trying to convince the girls to feel his, um, pain…maybe you shouldn’t stick around to see that. 😉

  6. lime says:

    you are my hero. i am often chided for my ability to conjure up horrifying imagery but my dear i bow to the master. by the way, my back is still aching and i just bet if you lay your hand on the owiest spot you will feel axes leaping out to cut off your fingers and then dip them in a bowl of acid that shoots up through the bleeding stubs of your digits and flows all the way up your arms and into your brain where it will make your brain grow until it leaks out your ears and the skin on your face melts like the guys who dared behold the ark of the covenant while indy jones squeezed his own peepers shut oh so tightly. i’m just saying….

  7. Jazz says:

    You mean people can’t feel it when my foot’s asleep?

    Damn, who knew?

  8. furiousBall says:

    you know that’s how Ferguson Jenkins died right? his foot feel asleep while driving to the premier of Roller Ball and he smashed into James Caan’s limo. James Caan was apparently doing blow with a young David Lee Roth and Tommy Lee Jones (he thought it would be cool to have only people with the middle name of Lee in his limo that night for some reason). James got very upset with Fergie and got out and punched the unsuspecting Jenkins in the stomach and killed him dead. And then Ryan Reynolds raped me again.

  9. Lone Grey Squirrel says:

    Oooo. As a mad scientist, I like the way you mess with Niblet’s mind. I am sure years from now he will remember fondly how you used to scat his troubles away. 🙂

  10. Mother of Invention says:

    Never really thought about the idea of others feeling my pain…hmmmm…would be a good thing in a lot of situations…like male OBY delivering babies?!!

  11. Glamourpuss says:

    I have dispatched a genuine Breton beret forthwith, you hep cat, you. Yeah!


  12. Tai says:

    If you’re around when Nibs takes his first hit of acid then I think you should drop some too. Just to feel his pain.

  13. Claudia says:

    I’m still reeling from the scat cakes. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to view another chocolate dollop/swirl with out thinking of you. And that’s funny, that a good turd will remind me of you. And it’s in a good way. Who’da thunk? And, if Fergie calls, send her my way, I could use her personal trainer. My abs are a little soft.

  14. Diana says:

    Admit it. You model your child-raising skills on Calvin’s dad (from Calvin and Hobbes), don’t you?

    We do.

  15. Say It says:

    scat and lemontini. Don’t you just know how to work domestication!!!

  16. August says:

    I’ve never had so many practical parenting tips as I do here.

    You’re an Ace-Mommy.


  17. Casdok says:

    I like the way you think!!

  18. Jamie says:

    I am with Niblet all the way. I absolutely hate it when my legs fall asleep. Maybe next time I should try a lemontini.

  19. Jazz says:

    Thar’s another one of them thar awards waiting for you at my blog.

  20. Steve says:

    WN has got it goin’ on. I almost fell off my exercise ball.

    Say, when are those cookies coming in, or have WN and the Webkinz broken the seal.

  21. the frogster says:

    I’m 37 years old and I still try to spread my interior pain to others (my wife) by complaining about it until she gets a headache. It works.

  22. BeachMama says:

    You are just too hilarious. I will have to remember that when my guy asks me to feel his pain. I can just see you lying there.

  23. pistols at dawn says:

    Kids don’t just pay attention to your life and your problems? Why the hell have them, then?

  24. citizen of the world says:

    Tough love, baby, tough love. If you ignore them long enough, they eventually stop whining. Or at least, you don’t really hear it because you are in your head living a happy dream.

    (Webkinz? That looks awfully cute for an on-line game. Where’s the blood?)

  25. Diesel says:

    Damn but that was funny. I’m glad I’m not the only one who torments my children for amusement. I mean, you torment your children, not mine. You’d better not torment my children, you soulless wench.

  26. Hammer says:

    lol how funny!

    I usedf to spin myself in circles because I thought it made everyone else spin too 🙂

  27. Franki says:

    Will you please be my new mommy?

  28. Princess Pointful says:

    Hyperboles will always be great.
    Hence why you will be the coolest mom to trip out with.

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