Species: Dinkus Dorkus


So have you ever thought to yourself, “Well, now, Martha, hasn’t it been an age since we’ve had a nice photo with the kids? And looksie-looksie: we seem to be at that rare moment in time when everyone is clothed and within yodeling distance of a bath! Yes, let’s do.”

Clapping your hands together brightly, you line up the troops, warn them sternly that we actually want a nice photo this time–no “Look how Niblet smeared his quesadilla all over his torso; isn’t that precious?” pictures today. No, this will be one we can show the great-grandparents next time we brave the 85 degree indoor temperatures and go visit them in The Home.

So everyone’s really trying here.

But pretty quickly,

you realize it ain’t gonna happen. The vibe is off. Clearly, everyone had way too big a bowl of Slack Muscle Flakes for breakfast.

No matter how much you try to look like regglar folk, attempt after attempt,

everyone seems to be embracing his/her Inner Eejit. We try to look natural, but somehow we continue to look just as creepily “wrong” as Priscilla Presley’s post-op face.

So whaddya going to do?

For us, it was back to normal. Dropping all pretense, we ditched the clothes and laid off the bathing.



By Jocelyn

There's this game put out by the American Girl company called "300 Wishes"--I really like playing it because then I get to marvel, "Wow, it's like I'm a real live American girl who has 300 wishes, and that doesn't suck, especially compared to being a dead one with none."


  1. awww!!! i’d totally show you guys off at The Home.

    i’ll have to email you the endless string of my Dad trying to capture me and the monsters at Christmas. it goes from, “oh, okay Dad” to “for the love of everything that’s right and good, END THIS” rather quickly!

    🙂 thanks for the FAB card! xoxo

  2. You ask Niblet to behave for the camera and he suddenly looks like a solemn Bergman child.

    Regglar folk or not, you guys are pretty as peaches.

    Slack muscle flakes? So that’s what I’ve been having for breakfast.


  3. I totally get that. Just having TWO people in photos makes it hard for “everyone” to agree on one. Three people in a photo? It’s like saying “Hey Universe! We will never all be smiling at once!” But you guys are all cute anyway.

    As for PP, looking at that picture was kinda odd. I thought about her daughter having been married to freakazoid and then realized they kinda looked alike. Ick.

  4. I dunno, that last one is pretty damn cute! There is a lovely studio portrait somewhere of me and my little brothers, aged like 7, 3 and Too Little to Count. It’s the only one, since Middle Brother took great delight in picking his nose everytime the shutter went…

  5. Use the last one, it’s fun. We were never able to get all of us looking sane at the same moment.

  6. the best one is the last one, no doubt in my mind!

    oh and the ritual at our house is that once you have posed for the requisite polite and well behaved photos all bets are off and we snap endlessly at the bizarre and rowdy poses. a hundred years from now our descendants will be wondering why great-great grrandma lime seemed so blase and she stood, shrugging while her two daughters pretending to stab and strangle their brother

  7. What a great way to start off my Friday – a photo essay!

    I love the last picture, and completely empathize with the rest. I can vaguely remember these attempts. I had hoped to have buried those memories.

  8. My goodness! What a BEAUTIFUL family you have! And I LOVE the last photo, you’re all just happy and fun and joyful!!! YEAH!!!

  9. Awe the impossible to attain “perfect picture” which morphs into the “good enough picture” which morphs into the “at least we were all have our eyes open” picture… LOL You guys look great!

  10. you know what would make the best postcard? a series of panels of these shots. seriously. do it.

    no seriously.

    do. it.

  11. LOL!
    I NEED a red Niblet tie, that’s fantastic!

    All of you look SO happy, that’s the way a picture should be.

  12. Pretenses are highly overrated, and ought always to be dropped. Preferably from a tall height, onto concrete.

    All pictures were nice, but the last one was great!

  13. Oh, it is so true! Family photos are so hard, but I love the ones you posted!

    I only have a handful of pictures of the three of us. None of which the little munchkin is smiling.

  14. You guys are friggin’ adorable, ‘specially the smallish ones 😉
    I love best the goofy pics of my darlings.

  15. I generally find that nudity and stench make for far more interesting pictures.

    But then again, I’ve been blackmailed a time or two.

    Thank god you aren’t of the species who eat their young, because these ones are right cute, I’d say.

    (PS: your comment moderator is using the word fuhket, it makes me love you even more)

  16. A beautiful family! I guess Mr. Jocelyn was behind the camera, the lucky dog.

    You’re very brave. I don’t do pictures (if I can help it.) And you’re right — Priscilla Presley shouldn’t either anymore.

  17. I think about 90 percent of my photos with Boy and Girl Child show at least part of my Gene Simmonseque tongue.

    Therefore, I think all of these are awesome.

  18. Aw, hell, just plop them in one of those ‘series frames’ and call it ‘us’.

    The last is the bestest.

    That tie says it all.

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