Self Actualization for the Kindergarten Set

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17 Responses

  1. Diesel says:

    I hate to burst your bubble, but the latter 3 movies prove that George Lucas is, in fact, the wanker.

    Very funny post, J.

  2. Lone Grey Squirrel says:

    Hahaha. I really enjoyed this tale. Perhaps wee niblet would appreciate a trip to Pizza the Hutt.

  3. citizen of the world says:

    My favorite scene in James and the Giant Peach is when the young r-impired James points to the cloud rhinocerous and says, “Look! It’s the wino!”

  4. Glamourpuss says:

    Of course, the weal wanking starts soon enough, followed not so long after by the wancour – another of those words the Amercian people insist on spelling incorrectly…


  5. Diana says:

    Oh, soul sistah, and so it begins. Age 5. Star Wars. For 3 solid years my Boy and his friends played it on the playground after lunch, lisping their way through all the permutations of the characters with lots of blaster and lightsaber sound effects. Consider it speech therapy.

    There’s also the 2 animated Clone Wars DVDs and the Clone Wars film coming out on a few! weeks! to a theater! near you! (Just warning you.)

    My Girl, now aged 5, has decided to follow, desciple-like in the footsteps of her brother, and is now choosing Star Wars films for movie night and has been admitted to that holy-of-holies: her brother’s vast collection of Star Wars action figures, to play with him when there’s no one else to play the Lando to his Han Solo (Hey! he looks like “Innie-Anna” Jones.)

    He does sometimes have to stop her from carrying the figures around like babies and tucking them in on the couch with pillows and blankets and bottles, though. For some reason he feels this behavior is beneath Obi Wan.

  6. Say It says:

    This post had me giggling in my seat! my son went innocently from loving Peter pan to adoring the Dread Pirate Roberts to utter adoration for all things star wars. He’s turning 11. At 5 his star wars knowledge was broad enough to want a themed bday party. Every year since has been all about them star wars. Only now, instead of appeasing him with $5 books, he want $200 lego star wars sets. Good luck with your little wanker, it could be years before he finds other interests!

  7. Jazz says:

    I can’t help but wonder what the Niblet will think of these stories when he reads them for the first time.

  8. Chantal says:

    You are too funny!

  9. Bob Stein says:

    I loved the brief scene where the rancor keeper, after his pet’s demise, weeps big crocodile tears.

  10. Dragonfly Dreaming says:

    WHAT??! You don’t have a penis???!

  11. flutter says:

    diesel just cracked me up. Which made me forget what I was going to say, damn the man.

  12. Claire says:

    I really enjoyed this post. I was thrown back in time when my giant manchildren were but little tykes. Oh, those were the days…

  13. Claire says:

    They loved DinoRiders!

  14. pistols at dawn says:

    I was also called “Fruit Leather” for a time during the 80s, when I was starring in a similar set of films involving dungeons, fat things, and weird-looking creatures.

  15. heartinsanfrancisco says:

    Wanker wanker wanker wanker WANKER!!!

    It just feels good to say. And I say that perfectwee wivvout wankor.

  16. lime says:

    i have to agree with diesel’s description of true wankerness (wankishness? wankerosity?) nonetheless, this shall be one of those stories to warm your heart when you are a bitter old shrew, your tobacco-leathered skin well preserved by the effects of copius amounts of gin. 😉

  17. liv says:

    i feel as if skimming this and loving you are enough right now. but, taco and paco always make me smile in the rhymingest way.

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