Category: bears

Ka-powie 19

Ka-powie

 In an age when Kevin Federline sets the standard as a guy to admire, I’m feelin’ the need to go all revolutionary like Mr. Muscle Oven Cleaner did back in the ’70s and take a moment to set the bar just a tidge higher. I can up your K-Fed, culturepeople,...

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I Need Fifty-Nine Drinks 31

I Need Fifty-Nine Drinks

    When I was 18 months old and napping one day, my aunt felt compelled to hold a mirror to my mouth to check my breathing and find out if I was still alive. I slept that deeply. When I was an adolescent, my sister once poured a glass...

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Bear Feet 29

Bear Feet

  In my last post, I jested, in closing, that I was going to go out and take down any bears that might be rummaging through our compost bin. I also reported that I wouldn’t be able to eat any non-locally-grown bears, if it were to turn out that they...

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Jocelyn Buttstrong 35

Jocelyn Buttstrong

  By mistake, I went on a 14-mile bike ride the other day. It’s not like I was transferring the sheets from washer to dryer, only to suddenly look down and note with a surprised “How the hell did this happen?” that I’d been spinning along on a bike for...

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