Postage-Free But Heartfelt


Dear Inhabitants of the Interwebs, You Slimy, Three-Eyed Beasts:

At this reading, may you be sipping on something mulled, wearing something fuzzy, and not hating those around you.  What’s more:  may you have protein in your belly and a carb in your heart.

I offer up to you the following holiday greetings with a shrug of my shoulders and a simple, “Hell, Jethro.  It’s what I got.”

This year, our family mailed out the card below, an image created when the members of Groom’s digital painting class were assigned to illustrate the various verses of The Night Before Christmas; Groom’s required stanza was the “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen.  On Tootie, on Blair, on Natalie and Mrs. G” blurpie.  So he staged a bunch of our Playmobil figures, took photos, and then used the photos as a basis for his painting.  I haven’t even asked him, as we don’t talk much, but I assume he got an “A,” which, clearly, seems strong enough basis for a holiday greeting.  Christmas is nothing if not all about staging and pixels.

In previous decades, I used to crank out a massive letter to accompany the card, but now that I have this blog in which to blather, doing such a thing seems redundant.  If anyone cares, he/she can check in twice a week here and find out who’s broken a bone or gone bowling.  Hence, we went, in the text on the back of the Santa card, for a straightforward listing of what actually mattered in our year, and that would be the favorite words our eyes intook.

While the previous image and note went out to a hundred of our closest friends (plus four acquaintances about whom we remain ambivalent), the next image is for you alone, O Gracious Denizen of the Interwebs. To celebrate an impending blizzard and the fact that I’m intending, in the next few days, to make a Tres Leches cake for the first time, I asked His Groomitude to create a new Pyramid Man for me (see this, this, and this for the backstory).  The result is a Groom/Paco collaboration, the best gift I can imagine:

My wishes for you over the next wad of days, Gentle Reader, are that you–

Savor life. 
Revel in the good stuff. 
Rest your yappin’ dogs.
Find peace in your head.




27 responses to “Postage-Free But Heartfelt”

  1. AmyTree Avatar

    I remember Mrs. Basil E Frankweiler!!! Wow… 🙂 Thank you Jocelyn, for reminding me of all the books I used to love and maybe forgot about (just a little) on the way.

    Merry Christmas xxxxxx

  2. secret agent woman Avatar
    secret agent woman

    Ha! I have on fussy pj pants, just polished off and egg and toast and am sipping on coffee. Pretty close!

    I still do a short letter, for those who don't have access to my blog.

    A very Merry Christmas to you and yours!

  3. Green Girl in Wisconsin Avatar
    Green Girl in Wisconsin

    Period man the mall elf. You people are SO witty and silly.
    I have sweats, coffee, Morning Edition and this fine card from YOU!
    Merry Christmas!

  4. Becky Cazares Avatar
    Becky Cazares

    Wow, this is my favorite art piece from Groom yet! Love the brushiness of the reindeer and the blending of colors… caramel, red… yummy! And he got the perspective right! That ain't easy. And your comment about something mullied got me off my chair to get a start on my own personal 500-calorie 3-serving container of eggnog (hubby is indifferent about eggnog – how can that be?!). Stay warm, all, and enjoy the lights and bells and laughter of the season. Happy reading, too!

  5. Jazz Avatar

    LOTR and Comics… I think I'm in love with your man.

    May your holidays be full of good friends, family, good food and of course good wine!

  6. lime Avatar

    oh that was fantastic! my sympathies to pyramid man.

    i'm in something fuzzy but not drinking anything mulled as it is only 10am. give me til noon anyway.

    a very merry christmas to all of you!

  7. chelle Avatar

    That painting rocks.
    So cool to share your favourite books. May have to "steal" that idea for next year!

    Have a very Merry Christmas to you and yours!

  8. jess Avatar

    quatros leches- snort. Still in my pj's and planning on staying that way!

  9. Michele Avatar

    Groom is a fantastic artist and very clever punster. Happy Holidays

  10. ds Avatar

    2nd Giganto mug of Coffee & a dust rag (holding those, am clothed; mind your manners 😉 )…Love this post, love Groom's art, love Pyramid Man (and Period Man–hadn't seen him), love Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, and love this blog & the way you write!

    Merry merry Christmas to you and your whole zany household!!

  11. Franki Avatar

    Oh Jocelyn. How I've missed you. I've got my fave slippers on, but am still grumpy.

    Happy Holidays to you and yours!

  12. kmkat Avatar

    Please thank His Groomitude for my new holiday wallpaper. He is quite the keeper, you know.

    And now I have to go request some books from the library. Have a lovely Christmas!

  13. Jenn @ Juggling Life Avatar
    Jenn @ Juggling Life

    Somehow I think a creative household like yours is uniquely suited to weather a big snowstorm.

    How did you know that at 11 a.m. I was still wearing something fuzzy? What? I'm wrapping presents (the appearance of me commenting on your blog providing evidence to the contrary).

  14. gail Avatar

    Merry Christmas! I love your blog -it's brought brightness and lightness to many heavy days!

  15. Pseudonymous High School Teacher Avatar
    Pseudonymous High School Teacher

    Came over from Boondocks tribute post to you. Merry christmas to you and yours and looking forward to reading more of your blog.

    BTW I am a fellow English teacher – of 10th grade over here on Oahu, trapped in the middle of the Pacific.

  16. Jim Berg Avatar
    Jim Berg

    Thanks for the card, both the actual one and the virtual one. Gotta get reading.

  17. Jeni Avatar

    Love your directives there for what to do over the holiday and I think I'll take them -well except maybe for the reference to food things anyway -and follow them onward into the coming year, maybe even beyond too!
    Peace and God Jul to you and all of yours!

  18. Pam Avatar

    "…rest your yappin' dogs" eh? Well I was wishing someone would rest their hoofing horses(sorry horse people) over the holidays – there we were on the top of an incredibly high deserted mountain, not a sound for days, about to turn in for the night in the little tent, when we were bombarded by the sound of hooves. Thinking it was either the Apocalypse or Santa making a pit stop with the reindeer,we peeked out of the tent to see a big tent being pegged, windswept horses in a dis-used rusty coral, and the informed looming arrival of thirty horse people and floats."Think of the horse shit,think of the noise, think of the flies" wails husband.You know that saying,"wild horses wouldn't drag me away?" – sent us packing!Hope you have just the kind of holidays you like,doing what you all love!…and thanks for your entertaining posts. xxx

  19. Pam Avatar

    p.s. great artwork from Groom, and you can tell by the length of my comment I haven't seen people for a while!

  20. Patois Avatar

    Brilliant! Love the Pyramid Dreidel. Merry Christmas!

  21. diane Avatar

    Yea! A dreidel! That is so cool and thoughtful of you. I'm not jewish, but I should be an honorary member, because I make the best chicken soup ever.
    Hope you had a nice Christmas Jo. Mine kicked *ss. xo d

  22. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) Avatar
    Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)

    Came over here from Boondock's tribute to you – she wasn't kidding, you're writing is brilliant! 🙂

    Hope you and your family had a Very Merry Christmas! 🙂

  23. geewits Avatar

    I hope you had a merry Christmas and I am soloving on that sleigh painting. It's dreamy and makes me happy.

  24. Amy Avatar

    Beautiful card. And I loved Brooklyn. Loved, loved, loved it.

  25. Karen MEG Avatar
    Karen MEG

    Finding peace in my head … yes, that is something I must do!

    Lovely Christmas greeting, J – hope you and your family are enjoying the holidays!

  26. heartinsanfrancisco Avatar

    That Pyramid Man is one enterprising dude.

    I have never done a mass Christmas Brag letter but have enjoyed many a guffaw over some we're received. With so many people claiming that their 8-year olds won both the Nobel Peace Prize and the Pulitzer plus of course, the Kentucky Derby, I tend to be a tad skeptic. Of course if they were YOUR children, I would be an instant believer.

    I hope you and yours had a marvelous Christmas, Jocelyn.

  27. flutter Avatar

    you are a blessing.

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