Casting Your Vote in 2048

In about forty years, if you start seeing lawn signs in your neighborhood touting “Wee Niblet for President,” I urge you to slow down your hover vehicle and take note.

In Wee Niblet, you’d have a president who could work both sides of the Target Halloween clearance aisle, who could stabilize the economy (“One dollar, per piggy bank, per week, but only if you empty the bathroom garbage can on Tuesday mornings”), and who could revitalize America’s health care system by insisting everyone have tubes put in their ears, as he has, making “pool adventures in ear plugs and a cap” a national mandate.

Punky has a platform, all right.

Even more convincing for you Undecideds out there (waiting for Rosie, your robot maid, to bring you a Mercurytini, as you recline in your easy chair made of moon dust and monkey chromosomes) is the fact that Niblet, even in his early years, proved himself an accomplished stretcher of the truth.

For example, at age five, he swore up and down a bunkbed ladder that he did not like Kit Kittredge, An American Girl: The Movie one, single

–even-if-he-were-under-the-influence-of-a-Kit-Kat-Snickers-Reeses-sugar-rush–

iota.

Crackerjack photographers on site during the movie viewing, however, proved the politician-in-training to be


a liar of “we have found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq” proportions.

When asked about the photos, Niblet replied, “It’s amazing what Photoshop can do. I wasn’t even there that night; I was home, with Hilary, making cookies in an effort to prove that she’s a woman.”

Unfortunately, Future President Niblet’s disclaimers felt hollow in the face of further photographic evidence, which clearly indicted the “Commander in Cheat” as


a swinger without remorse.

If you care to share, click a square:

Comments

comments

Published by Jocelyn

There's this game put out by the American Girl company called "300 Wishes"--I really like playing it because then I get to marvel, "Wow, it's like I'm a real live American girl who has 300 wishes, and that doesn't suck, especially compared to being a dead one with none."

Join the Conversation

16 Comments

  1. I will totally vote for Wee Niblet in 2048. Assuming I’m still alive. If I’m not, someone should just vote for me.

  2. Here’s a new slogan…

    What’s wrong with a few fiblets,
    As long as they’re Wee Niblets?

    I am soo looking forward to those easy chairs made of moon dust and monkey chromosomes.

    You crack me up!

  3. My 11-year-old turned on the tv first thing this morning to see the reactions to the election and talked about it all the wy to school. I may be seeing a few familiar lawn signs myself.

  4. You’ve convinced me. If I’m still alive when he is old enough to run, he’s got my vote. I will even write his speeches for him as I am quite an accomplished liar myself. (Ok, I”m lying.)

    Cute pictures! You have beautiful children, Jocelyn.

  5. Whatever, you all missed the number one indicator that wee niblet has a serious and strong future in politics, if not Alpaca smuggling, that should not be trifled with. Behold, the sweater vest.

  6. Amy: I wondered if anyone would catch onto his sartorial campaign-friendly choices.

    Sure, he can drop a bald-faced lie with the best of them; but what other five-year-old wears a sweater vest so well? He rewy, rewy likes sweater vests and kind of would wear them every day, except there are so many shirts with robots on them that also need his attention.

  7. I’ll have long since passed on because of the drink, but I’ll urge local kids to vote for him, right after I tell them to get offa my lawn.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *