Downward-Facing ADHD Doggie: Frantic Yoga

“Downward-Facing ADHD Doggie: Frantic Yoga” I may pride myself on being a hearty soul, but the truth is that I host a puny inner wuss, a very small person who lives inside me and who doesn’t like scary or creepy things like: voles; people knocking on my front door wearing crisp white shirts and neckties, […]

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“Tell Me I’m Pretty, Then Watch Me Cling: Lonely Hearts and Icy Lungs”

“Tell Me I’m Pretty, Then Watch Me Cling: Lonely Hearts and Icy Lungs” Yesterday on the Western Waterfront Trail: -10 degree wind chill + an hour of trail running = me, in the clearance bin at the Lunacy Mart That’s the new math. Three minutes into the run, I was giving myself a serious dressing […]

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“Suffering From Twinklementia: Color Me Ronnie”

“Suffering From Twinklementia: Color Me Ronnie” Zoom in on 1997: One day, having just slammed a triple-shot mocha in an effort to fight off a marauding hoard of the late-afternoon grumps, I made a new friend. As I exited the coffee shop, a woman–a stranger to me–came up and said, “I see you all the […]

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Ehhhh? I Cain’t Hear You ‘Lessin’ I Turn Up My Hearing Aid

“Ehhhh? I Cain’t Hear You ‘Lessin’ I Turn Up My Hearing Aid” Here’s a statement that most everyone–outside of perky cheerleader Homecoming Queens, Buzz Lightyear, Paris Hilton, Lassie, and Barack Obama–can agree with: “I’ve spent a large part of my life feeling not cool but wishing I were.” Certainly, my desire to be “cool” has […]

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Will Shortz and a Gold-Lame’ Bikini

“Will Shortz and a Gold-Lame’ Bikini” Speaking of why parents worry that the schools won’t be able to unlock their kids’ particular gifts… Yesterday, my three-year-old son, Wee Niblet, draped me a big poncho of goosebumps, with one, random comment. We were getting out of the car, on our way to a running store to […]

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Every Rose Has Its Thorn

“Every Rose Has Its Thorn”My freshman year of college, I watched 40 people recoil in horror when I announced at the first floor meeting in my dorm: “And I really like heavy metal, especially Ozzy.” Soon enough, after four years of being exposed to the folksy Midwest, I outgrew my good-ol’ hardcore Montana musical roots, […]

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The Original Cheap Date

“The Original Cheap Date”A couple of weeks ago, on October 31st, The Groom and I volunteered to be readers at our daughter’s school; the school celebrates a “Harvest of Literature” that day because to actually say the word “Halloween” would have meant that the place was run by Satan worshippers looking to inculcate the small […]

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Daytime Pain and Nighttime Soap

“Daytime Pain and Nighttime Soap” Call me predictable, even stereotypical: I dread going to the dentist. Sure, Dentist Person may be a very nice individual, well-qualified, and gentle of touch, but I still don’t like him/her. Me no want to see Dentist Person.The deal is that Dentist Person has tools–tiny pickaxes, long needles, shrill drills, […]

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Twenty-Eight First Graders, the Lone Teacher, a Slew of Specialists, and One Shy Girl

 Anne Lamott once wrote of a type of situation so taxing it could “…make Jesus drink gin from the dog dish.” This is how I often feel, as the parent of a school-aged child. It’s surprisingly hard to let my kid go off all day to be manhandled by the world. It makes me want […]

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