East or West, My Couch Is Best

“East Or West, My Couch Is Best” More adventures from the “Jocelyn As Idiot Runner” Files: I am the kind of person who can get lost between my house and my job (where I’ve worked for six years). I can take a wrong street on my way to Cub Foods and end up doing an… Continue reading East or West, My Couch Is Best

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“Tell Me I’m Pretty, Then Watch Me Cling: Lonely Hearts and Icy Lungs”

“Tell Me I’m Pretty, Then Watch Me Cling: Lonely Hearts and Icy Lungs” Yesterday on the Western Waterfront Trail: -10 degree wind chill + an hour of trail running = me, in the clearance bin at the Lunacy Mart That’s the new math. Three minutes into the run, I was giving myself a serious dressing… Continue reading “Tell Me I’m Pretty, Then Watch Me Cling: Lonely Hearts and Icy Lungs”

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“Suffering From Twinklementia: Color Me Ronnie”

“Suffering From Twinklementia: Color Me Ronnie” Zoom in on 1997: One day, having just slammed a triple-shot mocha in an effort to fight off a marauding hoard of the late-afternoon grumps, I made a new friend. As I exited the coffee shop, a woman–a stranger to me–came up and said, “I see you all the… Continue reading “Suffering From Twinklementia: Color Me Ronnie”

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Ehhhh? I Cain’t Hear You ‘Lessin’ I Turn Up My Hearing Aid

“Ehhhh? I Cain’t Hear You ‘Lessin’ I Turn Up My Hearing Aid” Here’s a statement that most everyone–outside of perky cheerleader Homecoming Queens, Buzz Lightyear, Paris Hilton, Lassie, and Barack Obama–can agree with: “I’ve spent a large part of my life feeling not cool but wishing I were.” Certainly, my desire to be “cool” has… Continue reading Ehhhh? I Cain’t Hear You ‘Lessin’ I Turn Up My Hearing Aid

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Will Shortz and a Gold-Lame’ Bikini

“Will Shortz and a Gold-Lame’ Bikini” Speaking of why parents worry that the schools won’t be able to unlock their kids’ particular gifts… Yesterday, my three-year-old son, Wee Niblet, draped me a big poncho of goosebumps, with one, random comment. We were getting out of the car, on our way to a running store to… Continue reading Will Shortz and a Gold-Lame’ Bikini

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Every Rose Has Its Thorn

“Every Rose Has Its Thorn”My freshman year of college, I watched 40 people recoil in horror when I announced at the first floor meeting in my dorm: “And I really like heavy metal, especially Ozzy.” Soon enough, after four years of being exposed to the folksy Midwest, I outgrew my good-ol’ hardcore Montana musical roots,… Continue reading Every Rose Has Its Thorn

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The Original Cheap Date

“The Original Cheap Date”A couple of weeks ago, on October 31st, The Groom and I volunteered to be readers at our daughter’s school; the school celebrates a “Harvest of Literature” that day because to actually say the word “Halloween” would have meant that the place was run by Satan worshippers looking to inculcate the small… Continue reading The Original Cheap Date

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Daytime Pain and Nighttime Soap

“Daytime Pain and Nighttime Soap” Call me predictable, even stereotypical: I dread going to the dentist. Sure, Dentist Person may be a very nice individual, well-qualified, and gentle of touch, but I still don’t like him/her. Me no want to see Dentist Person.The deal is that Dentist Person has tools–tiny pickaxes, long needles, shrill drills,… Continue reading Daytime Pain and Nighttime Soap

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Twenty-Eight First Graders, the Lone Teacher, a Slew of Specialists, and One Shy Girl

 Anne Lamott once wrote of a type of situation so taxing it could “…make Jesus drink gin from the dog dish.” This is how I often feel, as the parent of a school-aged child. It’s surprisingly hard to let my kid go off all day to be manhandled by the world. It makes me want… Continue reading Twenty-Eight First Graders, the Lone Teacher, a Slew of Specialists, and One Shy Girl

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No So Much My Saviour After All: The Pompous Lord

“Not So Much My Saviour After All: The Pompous Lord” I feel it. Pulsing towards me through cyberspace, I sense your desire to read more of my rambling adventures in other countries. Or maybe what I sense is just my computer trying to stream this week’s episode of Ugly Betty to me, but I’m choosing… Continue reading No So Much My Saviour After All: The Pompous Lord

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