Famous First Words

“Famous First Words”

(photo: Jay Johnson)

The owner of these feet jumped into my bed this morning, had a little cuddle, and then uttered the household’s First Words of the Day:

“I have dried boogers in my nose. You need to get them out.”

If, like the gypsies of Romania, you are a superstitious person and believe that the first words uttered by a family member at the start of each day determine how that day plays out, what can we surmise about Jocelyn on Wednesday?

I might have crusty fingers.

I might have had a teachable moment with my son before the sun rose.

I might have made an uncharacteristically hasty exit from my bed this morning.

I might go shopping for some new anti-bacterial hand solution.

I might have tried out a new spread on my breakfast toast, one made up of little, crusty flakes.

I might have determined that my kid’s unrestricted breathing is, in fact, NOT a priority for me.

I might need to change the pillowcases.

I might have discovered that a Q-tip can’t do what a finger can.

In truth, my response to The Niblet was more like, “Um, yea, honey? That ain’t going to happen. There comes a point in every young lad’s life when he becomes responsible for his own boogers. Today, sweet hallelujah, is just that rite of passage for you.”

How about you, gentle readers? What were the first words uttered in your household today? And what do they tell us about your day?







41 responses to “Famous First Words”

  1. Voyager Avatar

    I believe the first words were: “Did you let the godamn dog on our bed again?”

  2. BeachMama Avatar

    How cute. I think the first words at our house were “when are the neighbours moving again?” You see, they wake us up at least once a night if not twice and last night it was 3:30AM and our neighbour was in his truck listening to talk radio so loud we could hear the words.

  3. Lee Avatar

    I think it was, “Hi Turdmuffin!”

  4. Em Avatar

    Glad you established a new policy in your house! LOL

    Our first words…Son17 rushing downstairs as I poured coffee to say “Don’t you have something to say to me!?!?” before I ever had the chance to say “happy birthday”. LOL

  5. oreneta Avatar

    I have NO idea, although I THINK it was the husband telling the dog to get off the radio….What does that mean?

  6. Logophile Avatar

    I got a snuggle and a
    “Good morning, mom.”
    The morning was so-so,
    but it did start off well.

  7. Karen Avatar

    “Get off my face you fat furry bastard”.

  8. lime Avatar

    you expect me to remember what was said at 5:30 am???

  9. Claire Avatar

    It was so long ago (5:15 am) I forgot. really. probably, “Ugg”

  10. Mother of Invention Avatar
    Mother of Invention

    My husband pleading,”Can you go down and make the coffee?!!”
    And we have needed several cups during this day! How prophetic!

  11. Anonymous Avatar

    Although the time was close to 7am, I have very little recollection of the words but it was something close to “mommy can I snuggle with you and Benjamin.” if only I could spend all day snuggling, life would be nice but I’m sure I responded with some sort of grunt and half opened eyes as I’d been awake most of the night with Benjamin. Why did I chose to do this all again?
    Your post does remind me to try to remember the cute stuff more often!
    Thanks, Julie

  12. urban-urchin Avatar

    “My throat feels like a cat’s scratching post.” me to husband at 5:30 am. Who says romance is dead?

  13. mist1 Avatar

    First words of the day:

    “Get your a$$hole off my pillow!”

    Does it count if the first words were spoken to a cat?

  14. frannie Avatar

    first- love, love, love the picture!

    I think the first words were uttered by me and they went something like, “for the love of God and all that is decent and holy in the univers, you are over 8 months old! when are you going to stop waking up 15 times in one night. Mommy is dying a slow, slow death here. seriously, we have got to do something about this. I can no longer survive this hell. and guess what? My ninnies are not pacifiers.” or something like that. I’m not really sure.

    it was a bad, bad night last night.

  15. jen Avatar

    I think mine was “mommy, me awake” which is wonderful, except it was an hour earlier than usual.

    i loved that pic.

  16. my4kids Avatar

    First of all love the pic. I love little feetsies!
    First words I heard today? “honey where are my underwear?” from the hubby of course. aparently I forgot to get his undies out of the dryer last night and am so behind on laundry he didn’t have any in the drawer. But at least he said honey…

  17. yerdoingitwrong Avatar

    TOO FUNNY! I belive the first words this morning in our house were when hubby leaned over and lovingly whispered: I’m gonna kill your goddamn cat!’

  18. Awesome Mom Avatar
    Awesome Mom

    It is time for breakfast. Those words were then followed by repeated stern warnings to get downstairs immediately and to stop dawdling.

    I am not sure what that says about me.

  19. Patience Avatar

    Yes it is time for the child to deal with his own nose hygiene. You can pick yer friends, you can pick yer nose, but ya can’t pick yer friends’ noses!

  20. Diana Avatar

    “Mom! Are you sleeping???”

    Not anymore, I’m not. Guess I can kiss that nap goodbye, too.

  21. Jazz Avatar

    I believe it was something along the lines of “oh crap, not already morning” or something to that effect.

  22. furiousBall Avatar

    I remember the day my dad sat me down and talked to me about how a man needs to pick his own nose and fling his own boogers

  23. heartinsanfrancisco Avatar


    Translation: “FEED ME. Feed me NOW. It is of no interest to me that the clock says 5:00 a.m. Clocks are a stupid human invention. C’mon, bitch. Hurry it up. I’m dyin’ here.”

    That’s pretty much what happens every day.

  24. velvet girl Avatar
    velvet girl

    I believe they were “Goodbye, Sweetie. I love you.” This happens every weekday morning when my hubby leaves for work and comes to kiss his still-in-bed wife goodbye.

    This usually signifies two things: 1) that I now have more room in the bed, and 2) because he loves me, he is quite likely to be coming back later in the day.

  25. velvet girl Avatar
    velvet girl

    Great photo, btw!

    There are two kinds of feet in our house, punky feet and sweet feet. Those look like sweet feet. 🙂

  26. ldbug Avatar

    Words? In the am? huh, a novelty that will have to wait until I have a little booger filled bugger one day;-P Till then just unintelligable noises while waiting for the coffee to kick in!

  27. CS Avatar

    No one with me today, so we’ll go with yesterday when I had the kids: It was from me: “Wake up, sweetie, and get a shower. Honey, wake up. Wake up. HEY! TIME TO GET YOUR SHOWER!!” Yeah, another moment of zen-like peace with my teenager.

  28. BlogWhore Avatar

    gosh, that’s a very creative post. my kid does not speak… so the first words i heard this morning were the weather… which did affect my overal day.

    damn snow in april.

  29. Balou Avatar

    Love that footsie photo!

    My first words were “Rico! Shut up!” Rico=dog, shut up=response to incessant barking at 6:20am. Next words, “That’s it, I’m ordering that sonic bark thing.”

  30. Balou Avatar

    I just read through everyone’s comments. Analysis: people with pets swear a lot in the morning.

  31. lushgurl Avatar

    Ummm first words spoken to ME?
    meeeeowwww and chirrrp chirrrp, and of course MEOWLLLLL, the last one being my boy kitty who likes to go outside at night to do what tomcats do!!!

  32. Infinitesimal Avatar


    it’s my cat’s name

  33. Malnurtured Snay Avatar
    Malnurtured Snay

    “Just dig in and remove them yourself!”

  34. Dorky Dad Avatar
    Dorky Dad

    “Aaaah … the first few moments of the morning before I remember why I’m sleeping on the lawn.”

    (Actually, that’s a mangled quote from an old Simpsons episode …)

  35. Hammer Avatar

    boogers..wait till they show you their collection…

  36. Lone Grey Squirrel Avatar
    Lone Grey Squirrel

    Congratulations! You have successfully grossed me out!

  37. Glamourpuss Avatar

    We try and obey the rule of silence at Chez Glamour – it is the house of Goddess after all.


  38. gab Avatar

    the first words in our house this morning was dang 5am comes early. Then hubby asked for a towel and went to take his shower to get ready for work. Life in MN can be a surprise. Today was warmer weather than the last couple of days and wouldnt you know it. I tell all the grandkids to dress warm before they went to catch the bus.

  39. susan Avatar

    I’m usually up way before the man is, but we are on spring break so I’m sleeping in. He wakes up talking (and never really stops until he falls aleep) It takes me an hour or so before I’m awake enough to listen. I’m not really sure WHAT that says about us…

  40. Diesel Avatar

    That’s so funny, because this morning my wife and I got in a big fight because she came into the bathroom while I was in the shower and told me I needed to get a towel and wipe out her car because I left the windows open (I maintain that I didn’t) and it rained. Not a nice way to start the day.

  41. Kerry Avatar

    That is a great question. The first words I heard were;
    “I have to go to the bathroom.”
    Considering how my day went, the first words should have been “Drive me here, drive me there, drive me there AGAIN…..”

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