Author: Jocelyn
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Heal
What I want is to tuck myself under the duvet and stay there, head covered, for four years. I don’t want to get dressed; I don’t want to leave the house; I don’t want to go to work; I don’t know where to find the performance energy; I don’t know how I’ll paste a smile…
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Stumped
I don’t mean to co-opt his story. Then again, no story — even if its cast is a single character — can be told without rubbing up against someone else’s story. Indeed, even when there is only one character in a narrative, the way that person behaves, the choices he or she makes — those…
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Halloween Thoughts
There is one holiday, and one holiday only, that I truly enjoy: Halloween. When I announce this to others, reactions vary. Some are confused — “Whaddya mean you don’t love Thanksgiving? How can you not melt into Christmas?” Others are interested, hoping for a psychological reveal — “Oh, yea? And why’s that?” Still others, and…
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Phonology and Flirtation
Phonology: an inventory of sounds and their features; rules specifying how sounds interact with each other. Flirtation: a short period of casual experimentation with or interest in a particular idea or activity. Phlirtology: a short period of inventorying how strangers interact with each other. *** Still sweating from my bike ride across campus, I pulled out a piece…
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Burned Nipples
“Do you smell something?” my employer wrinkled his nose and looked around the house suspiciously as he set down his briefcase. He was a doctor, as was his wife. I was the nanny. It was the summer of 1987. Whitney Houston wanted to dance with somebody, a gallon of gas cost $.89, the FDA approved…
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Turning Ten
Ten years ago this week, I posted for the first time to this blog. Ten years. That’s like high school plus college plus graduate school. It was the start of a new semester, and I’d had the revolutionary idea to ask one of my composition classes to try out this new thing — “blogging” — in…
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The First Day of the Semester: Hour by Hour
The 8 a.m. hour: Rumpled and wild, the bedding reflects the quality of my nervous sleep. Even with relying on my new-found friend, melatonin, I woke throughout the night. By 4 a.m., I rolled around fitfully, the veil of sleep resting lightly upon me, my blood running cold with First Day nerves. This is the…
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What I Did During My Summer Vacation
In a few days, the new academic year begins. Since I’ve not quite recovered from the stresses of the summer session, and since my fall teaching schedule recently underwent an adjustment (one section cancelled, another added), I’m a bit breathless. No matter. Whether or not I’m ready, it’ll happen anyways. I’ll hit an alarm and…
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Noncomplementary
His rage was immediate. “God damn it! You could have killed me! Why weren’t you looking? You God damn just about hit me!” Panting, fueled by adrenaline, the middle-aged man glared at me, outraged, itching to transfer his upset, ready to spit more invective as soon as I engaged. He was shaking; he was scared. In…
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Tender Toddler Tending
Even before he came out after school, even before he got into the car, I knew he’d be crabby. He’s always crabby when he’s nervous. Often, he swings through a few pit stops — quick pullovers at “I’m so tired” and “I’m really hungry” — before parking at the real destination: the thirteen-year-old is cranky because his…