The Meathead

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31 Responses

  1. jen says:

    what is it w/ guys and Rush, anyways?

    ok, you singer of hos and santas, this was one funny post.

  2. lime says:

    he’d be so pleased to know he got the starring role in your post. *snicker*

    (sings) let there be beef on earth and let it begin with me…

    joy to the world the beef has come,
    let jocelyn receive her steak!

    o come all ye carnivores

    lo how a cow er mooing

    god rest ye merry wankadoodles

    and finally…

    we wish you a merry rib roast

  3. Wayfarer Scientista says:

    you and liv with your meat for x-mas…it must be the year for it! Enjoy it and may it make up for his wankisms in the future.

  4. heartinsanfrancisco says:

    What a wonderful story! It’s so good to know that wanks are sometimes redeemable, and also that the cow was grass-fed and therefore tender.

    You may have started a new Christmas tradition which will be retold forever just like The Miracle on 34th Street and It’s a Wonderful Life.

    And I’m really sorry about the Billy Joel album. I didn’t get what I wanted either that year, but I can’t remember what it was.

  5. Hammer says:

    I inherited that album when my wife and I merged our record collections.

    Sorry you didn’t get it.

    the bag o beef is good too 🙂

  6. geewits says:

    Well, even a narcissist needs to be able to close his freezer.

  7. Star says:

    A true hristmas miracle. Or he was hitting the eggnog. As always, an entertaining post.

  8. Mother of Invention says:

    Ah, this tickled my T-Bone…er…funny bone! My husband is a chiropractor and the very odd time has been paid with such “currency”! I’m glad to report that said husband has not one other thing in common with your neighbour, though. He’d treat people free if they really needed it…The Modern Good Samaritan, if there ever was one.

    Hope this is the beginning of a trend for him! Who knows what might be next? A litter of puppies? 100 lb bag of potatoes?
    (We got tons of cat treats from a guy who works for Whiskas! But he also paid the $32 fee!))

  9. Em says:

    Nothing says “happy holidays” like a bag of beef! But I wonder, after this act of kindness (or was it just an act of desperation when the freezer wouldn’t close?)…will you listen more closely to his next tale regarding he own, celebrated life? LOL

  10. furiousBall says:

    this is the bag o’ beef that put the other bag o’ beef guy outta business you know?

  11. Tai says:

    Those ARE the best Christmas presents ever…the unexpected ones.

  12. Her Grace says:

    Whenever I come here, I just know I’m going to stumble across something delightful. You never disappoint.

  13. Franki says:

    I dislike Christmas too. It’s. Just. Too. Much.

    But how heartening is this post? Love it.

    That bit about Miss Winehouse made me snort.

  14. Diana says:

    Um. I think your Glass Houses album was mistakenly delivered to me 25 years ago.


    It was a really good album.

    Hope it’s really good beef. Such unexpected gifts are the best.

  15. chelle says:

    “deadened childish hope” … I always had that too despite common sense.

    Cool beef story! hehe I think it is awesome when people surprise us.

  16. That Chick Over There says:

    Could it be poisoned?

    Oh no wait. That’s my neighbors.


  17. kimber the wolfgrrrl says:

    I love the fact that you can seamlessly include Rush, Netanyahu, the entire cast of Heroes and a freezer that won’t close, all in one Christmas-themed post. My hat is off to you, oh joyfully talented writer! A visit to your blog invariably leaves me with a smile on my face.

  18. CS says:

    Those unexpected gifts are the best, especially from someone who wouldn’t have appeared to have had a gernerous bone in his body. Great story. Except for the meat part, of course.

  19. August says:

    Wankiedoodle? I love it.

    The cap barter is priceless. Oh my, what a laugh.

    Don’t forget to toss Poodle a slice of meat. Wait, is he still alive?


  20. Voyager says:

    Enjoy every tender, grass fed bite. Then toast the Wanker. And hope he never cruises the blog world!

  21. Claire says:

    “managed to deck every single one of my complicated maze of halls.”

    Now, see, that’s why I love reading your blog. The story itself is fantabulous, but it is served on a bed of tasty prose. Well done, again.
    Can we see pics of the poodle?

  22. my4kids says:

    Oh how I love reading your posts! You, lady make me laugh!
    Yeah to the beef though, we? are big beef eaters!

  23. cathy says:

    I made a comment on this post and blogger ate it…or do I just think I did? anyway…


  24. BeachMama says:


    Glad you had a great Christmas, and wishing you a wonderful 2008 :).

  25. actonbell says:

    Excellent post! I’ve been missing yours lately, and alway regret it. You had me hangin’ on the edge of my seat, waiting to hear what Wank could possibly have done that was charming! You painted him deftly. And I loved I lifted up the skirt of their couch and noted all the toy remnants living under there; they had set up a makeshift village and elected Buzz Lightyear mayor. It’s just all so good!

    Rabbit, rabbit, Happy New Year! (and I’m relieved that this is the end of the holiday season. Can’t help it)

  26. Dorky Dad says:

    WHAT? No canned pork? I won’t be impressed until he gives you canned pork.

    Mmmmm … canned pork.

  27. Logophile says:

    Happy New Year!
    May your days be beefy and bright.
    I can see how that Billy Joel thing could have soured you on Christmas. Have you considered kwanzaa?

  28. Jenny from Chicago says:

    I just wet my pants. Since this is the first trip I’ve made to your blog I wasn’t prepared for how hysterical you are…nicely done.

  29. Princess Pointful says:

    Wank sounds freakishly like my previously blogged about lab partner, Mr. Self Disclosure.
    Minus the stocking my freezer part, dammit.
    (Though, granted, he does tend to have a ready supply of dark chocolate)

  30. Glamourpuss says:

    Man, those bastards! I thought the cast of Heores were my best friends…


  31. frannie says:

    mmmm– meat good.

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