O Mighty Crisis Stories

A Jocelyn By Any Other Name Is Someone Else 44

A Jocelyn By Any Other Name Is Someone Else

About three times a year, I go to a salon to get my hair cut. This, I believe, qualifies me as a semi-low-maintenance woman, at least when it comes to hair. When it comes to dark chocolate and compliments about how my very presence eases any interpersonal situation, however, I...

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Endeavoring Vertically 34

Endeavoring Vertically

“Endeavoring Vertically” When Groomeo and I first met and were wooing, he worked as a naturalist at an environmental learning center. What this meant, on a day-to-day basis, was that he tromped around trails with a bunch of fourth graders and expounded on such lofty subjects as water ecology, whitetail...

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Famous First Words 41

Famous First Words

“Famous First Words” (photo: Jay Johnson) The owner of these feet jumped into my bed this morning, had a little cuddle, and then uttered the household’s First Words of the Day: “I have dried boogers in my nose. You need to get them out.” If, like the gypsies of Romania,...

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28

“Talent Will Tell” Most nights, I watch only the first three minutes of the evening news. Everyone knows the first three minutes are where it’s at, and the other twenty-seven minutes are all weather teasers; superficial overviews of happenings nationally and internationally; the weather guy in an outside-the-studio weather garden...

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The Wisdom Is Not Actually IN the Teeth 44

The Wisdom Is Not Actually IN the Teeth

“The Wisdom Is Not Actually in the Teeth” A couple of weeks ago, Groom, at age 36, had two wisdom teeth extracted. Since he’d had the bottom teeth taken out during college, he had only the top two with which to contend. One of his top buckers had emerged from...

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Seven Years Since the Blue Moon 58

Seven Years Since the Blue Moon

I got engaged and pregnant on the same day. Even better, it was “Buck Night” at the local ball park, so I also got to drink a whole lot of cheap beer on a really humid July night while feigning interest in an All-American sport. You might be trying to...

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28

“Before You Click Your Heels Three Times…Is There Really No Place Like Home?” Last week, Oroneta tagged me with a meme about living the expatriate life. Now, I know Duluth is far North, we all talk like Canadians here as we putter “aboot the hoose,” people do willingly eat herring,...

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43

“Happy Bir– Oh, Hell, Whatever” (photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/38626538@N00/401568720/) I’m turning forty on Sunday. My dad would have been seventy-two that same day, had he not passed away four years ago. Suddenly, four years ago, I stopped enjoying a shared birthday and now face a lifetime of solo celebration. Since 2003, even...

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16

“A Pimped-Up Paddy’s Day” (thanks, Paintergirl, for the pikipimp hook-up!) I’m an Irisher by heritage (that, combined with being a quarter Finnish, makes me strangely silent yet talkative, somber yet jovial, staid yet merry), so in honor of yet another mass-media-manufactured holiday, St. Patrick’s Day, I’m resurrecting a post containing...

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19

“Paradise White” Look at them, those long, white, snowy lines of powder. I spent all last weekend snorting them up. It was quite a binge. Two weeks ago, I was jonesing for snow. But then I pawned my fishtank, sold some plasma, and scrounged for loose change in the sofa...

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