O Mighty Crisis Stories

As God Is My Witness, Each Individual Shall Tote His Own Weary Load 12

As God Is My Witness, Each Individual Shall Tote His Own Weary Load

Behind our house, across the alley, there lives a cohort of quasi-charming renters. Moving in after several disastrous previous occupancies, this group of young men demonstrates that young folk renting a house together don’t have to be feral beasts lacking even the most basic notion of boundaries. I mean, seriously,...

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Hope All Your Tricks Are Good Ones 20

Hope All Your Tricks Are Good Ones

In line with my dislike of holidays and “planned happiness” is my aversion to greeting cards. For me, a pre-packaged sentiment drummed up for pay by someone who hates her job isn’t heartwarming. Nor is the fact that the sender found himself so unable to frame an original thought that...

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Ode an die Freude 13

Ode an die Freude

By the time I finished my first decade of life, I had learned to walk, run, ride a bike; play piano and flute; jeté like a big-boned ballerina possessed; babysit; and play Boggle. Also, I had boobies and was on the cusp of menstruation. By the time I finished my second decade...

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You Asked for It (Well, Two of You Did): How to Achieve a Style Equaled Only By Its Substance 16

You Asked for It (Well, Two of You Did): How to Achieve a Style Equaled Only By Its Substance

Women too often lead with apology. I have vowed to break that culturally inculcated habit and not apologize for my behaviors unless I’ve just vomited in your daisies or hit the reset button on your Furby. Thus, I will not lead with apology here. Instead, I will celebrate my inner...

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Over the River and Through the Tunnel 17

Over the River and Through the Tunnel

We aren’t fans of resolutions around here, nor are we particularly go-getters. However, as it turns out, we each have something we’d like to achieve in 2013. Allegra’s goal for this year is to learn to skate ski. We got her outfitted with rental equipment yesterday; she’ll use it the...

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A Night Like Any Other 11

A Night Like Any Other

In 2000, when our first child was born, my dad bought us a video camera to aid in documenting the special moments. Although YouTube and America’s Funniest Home Videos intimate otherwise, video cameras are rarely present during the truly special moments. It was extremely lovely, however, to be able to point...

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Take Every Moment As A Gift. Then Twist It. 6

Take Every Moment As A Gift. Then Twist It.

“The Bear’s Money” by Louis Jenkins from The Winter Road: Prose Poems Every fall before he goes to sleep a bear will put away five or six hundred dollars. Money he got from garbage cans, mostly. Peo- ple throw away thousands of dollars every day, and around here a lot...

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That Time of the Semester 11

That Time of the Semester

I graduated from college twenty-three years ago, but still, at least once a year, I have the “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, I woke up late and am missing my final exam but can’t find the classroom” nightmare. Considering my lax attitude towards class attendance in my college years, the notion that I can’t...

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Steadily Growing 11

Steadily Growing

“At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.”–Salvador Dali Today, Byron turns 42. He has been, and in some cases still is, son, brother, friend, father, student custard scooper corn cross-pollinator...

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Winter’s Advent 12

Winter’s Advent

There’s a special lull in the rhythm of the semester when students are cranking away on big projects and readying themselves for the intensity that is the End of the Semester. The work isn’t flying in because they’re diligently, one hopes, doing the work. I’m in that lull right now, swinging...

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