O Mighty Crisis Stories

She Had Eight Weeks to Work on Her Final Essay, a Period of Intense Craftsmanship That Resulted in This Opening: ‘Are kids still talking to their parents? Well, some are but most don’t talk the old fashion way or the way they should, they now talk to their parents through texting and emails and once in a while, if you are lucky, a phone call (most likely from a cell phone)’ 27

She Had Eight Weeks to Work on Her Final Essay, a Period of Intense Craftsmanship That Resulted in This Opening: ‘Are kids still talking to their parents? Well, some are but most don’t talk the old fashion way or the way they should, they now talk to their parents through texting and emails and once in a while, if you are lucky, a phone call (most likely from a cell phone)’

Gasping, flailing, wiping gunk from my eyes, I’m surfacing, turning my face up from the mass of research papers that has consumed my energies in recent days. Students have told me that Americans are obese; water is scarce; language is overly casual; music should be freely downloadable; smoking bans are...

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Safety in Popsicles 19

Safety in Popsicles

  I love winter for ninety-eleven reasons: 1) When I wear snowshoes, my size 10 hooves actually feel petite in comparison. This is also why I sometimes sport a pair of huge “We’re #1” foam hands when I teach sign language. 2) Scarves are the accessory that can never go...

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Boot Camp 23

Boot Camp

I’m clearly not cut out for the military. I’m legally blind, poor in attitude, and slumpy in posture. The world is a safer place with me firmly installed behind a podium and a latte. However. Even though I have no desire to be broken down so that I can be...

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Can’t Read a Face by Its Book 29

Can’t Read a Face by Its Book

  I’ve considered getting myself all Facebooked. Heaps of folks whom I like and admire, from George Will to Pat Buchanan to Ann Coulter, are on Facebook, and the idea of being able to poke them before spreading graffitti all over their walls holds no small appeal. But then I...

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Dear Jeebus and Pilgrims Who Are Dead: I Am Thankful For Teaching That Is Never Dull 19

Dear Jeebus and Pilgrims Who Are Dead: I Am Thankful For Teaching That Is Never Dull

  A follow-up to my previous post. After a few days of putting out feelers, I managed to hook up Mindy with an office on campus that helps with things like food and cars and telephones. Now, dauntless, even in the face of an STD, Mindy continues to spread her...

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Can I Talk to You After Class? 26

Can I Talk to You After Class?

In the middle of a rousing class session, during which I assigned the persuasive essay and outlawed the topic of abortion (never a good subject for a two-page paper written by untried students who still live at home), a 19-year-old student named Mindy came up and asked me if we...

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Benchmarks 32

Benchmarks

School pictures came home last week, toted in backpacks jumbled with Boxcar Children books, broken pencils, water bottles, and gym shoes. The kids are proud and excited about the photos; usually, I fake an interest on their behalf. However, I find I’m turning a corner, when it comes to my...

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Twenty-Three Years and Thirteen Days 21

Twenty-Three Years and Thirteen Days

  In terms of female friendships, I have sixty-eleventeen inspirations but only three true Women of My Life. One of these three I met in 1985, in a dorm lounge, where she was being way too cute and cynical and cutting for her own good. Intimidated, I decided I didn’t...

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Neuf 25

Neuf

A pot of water boiled on the burner behind my husband, as he leaned against the stove, pulling my face into his sweatshirt. This story does not end with seared human flesh, so relax, gentle reader. He hugged me to him for a long time, hard. Finally, I managed to...

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Decapitating the Child 24

Decapitating the Child

For almost nine years, Groom has been our stay-at-home parent (I married him because he was the closest thing to a woman I could find in a man’s body). He is an example of walking Zen, so his temperament has been perfectly suited to taking the kids to storytime at...

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