O Mighty Crisis Stories

Ashen, Ashen, I Bawl and Fall Down 24

Ashen, Ashen, I Bawl and Fall Down

For the event of Niblet’s birth, we bartered for the services of a local doula (if you can’t buy the time of a lesbian who works at the Environmental Protection Agency for the price of a gallon bag of frozen pesto and a six-course feast including hand-made butternut ravioli…then it’s...

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Una Mas Mindy 27

Una Mas Mindy

The new semester looms, and while I attempt to ramp up the performance energy that is required to stand up in front of 25 dull-eyed under-the-table texters and actually get them to look towards the front of the room occasionally, I find myself missing last semester’s crop of students already....

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Surprisingly Inferior Tamales 26

Surprisingly Inferior Tamales

  I intend to type short, declarative statements. We just got back from 12 days in southern California. I had virtually no Internet access there. So I missed blogging and reading and such. But I put my feet in the Pacific and watched whales leap and had a ginger lemon...

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Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum 29

Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum

Once I finished college and graduate school and poked a toe into the frigid air of that fabled place called “real world,” I realized that it’s hard to make new friends when they’re not stuck next to you for 16 weeks in Psycholinguistics; there’s a natural flow towards beer and...

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Who’s Your Daddy? 25

Who’s Your Daddy?

Back in the 1980s, I did the college gig all traditional-like. Squirming and chafing in Montana, I hit eighteen and began the countdown to flight. When the time came to start college, I viewed the 1,000 miles separating my new campus and my hometown as “a headstart on a life...

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She Had Eight Weeks to Work on Her Final Essay, a Period of Intense Craftsmanship That Resulted in This Opening: ‘Are kids still talking to their parents? Well, some are but most don’t talk the old fashion way or the way they should, they now talk to their parents through texting and emails and once in a while, if you are lucky, a phone call (most likely from a cell phone)’ 27

She Had Eight Weeks to Work on Her Final Essay, a Period of Intense Craftsmanship That Resulted in This Opening: ‘Are kids still talking to their parents? Well, some are but most don’t talk the old fashion way or the way they should, they now talk to their parents through texting and emails and once in a while, if you are lucky, a phone call (most likely from a cell phone)’

Gasping, flailing, wiping gunk from my eyes, I’m surfacing, turning my face up from the mass of research papers that has consumed my energies in recent days. Students have told me that Americans are obese; water is scarce; language is overly casual; music should be freely downloadable; smoking bans are...

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Safety in Popsicles 19

Safety in Popsicles

  I love winter for ninety-eleven reasons: 1) When I wear snowshoes, my size 10 hooves actually feel petite in comparison. This is also why I sometimes sport a pair of huge “We’re #1” foam hands when I teach sign language. 2) Scarves are the accessory that can never go...

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Boot Camp 23

Boot Camp

I’m clearly not cut out for the military. I’m legally blind, poor in attitude, and slumpy in posture. The world is a safer place with me firmly installed behind a podium and a latte. However. Even though I have no desire to be broken down so that I can be...

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Can’t Read a Face by Its Book 29

Can’t Read a Face by Its Book

  I’ve considered getting myself all Facebooked. Heaps of folks whom I like and admire, from George Will to Pat Buchanan to Ann Coulter, are on Facebook, and the idea of being able to poke them before spreading graffitti all over their walls holds no small appeal. But then I...

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Dear Jeebus and Pilgrims Who Are Dead: I Am Thankful For Teaching That Is Never Dull 19

Dear Jeebus and Pilgrims Who Are Dead: I Am Thankful For Teaching That Is Never Dull

  A follow-up to my previous post. After a few days of putting out feelers, I managed to hook up Mindy with an office on campus that helps with things like food and cars and telephones. Now, dauntless, even in the face of an STD, Mindy continues to spread her...

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