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Clearly, Because This is Part III of What Could Have Been a Two-Sentence Story, The Director of This Overblown Epic is Kevin Costner
Thus, from then on, I couldn’t sleep on the couch. I couldn’t stay on the main floor after Groom went up to bed. Part of our marriage vows is that he will never leave me alone in the presence—real or implied—of a rodent, just as I will never leave him alone in the presence of
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…And If the Coen Brothers Won’t Direct It, Don’t You Think Jonathan Demme Could Tap into the Necessary Pathos?
Part II: Subconsciously, of course, I had an inkling about the culprit. Them was animal scats. Looking at Former Naturalist Groom, I pled, “You used to teach Small Mammals class…so what creature emitted this junk?” In our marriage, this question is the equivalent of “Does this make me look fat?” in other marriages. The poor
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Still Negotiating with James Cameron to Direct, But Since He’s Kind of a Crusty Wanker, I’m Working a Side Deal with the Coen Brothers
We used to live about one hundred yards from our current home, in a house that had one bathroom, which was located on the main floor, off the kitchen. I got pregnant while we lived there. The father of the baby was my husband. Whew. At any rate, right about Month 7 of that
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Won’t Someone Come Vacuum, Though?
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Try Honoring Thy Child for Damn Once
While I like to pretend that I channel Julie Andrews as Maria Von Trapp and yodel through life as though I’m about nothing more than playclothes for the children and enjoying myself high on a hill with a lonely goat-herd, the truth is I do get irritated sometimes. Early in life, I got irritated when
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I Find Myself Hard to Tolerate for Seven Whole Minutes, So You’re Not to Be Faulted for Skipping the Video and Just Going Straight to the Question; However, Skipping the Video Means You Will Not Be Hearing Styx Today–Unless You’re Humming ‘Babe, I’m Leaving/I Must Be On My Way’ As You Click Over to Another Blog
The upshot is this: I need to re-invigorate my Ipod playlist so that I am motivated to run faster than a snapping turtle whose feet are caught in a mixture of quicksand and molasses. While you ponder what kind of evil genius stirred the molasses into that quicksand and then plunked a turtle into
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Pas De Deux
During my youth, I took ballet and modern dance lessons for 9 years from a delicate woman named Miss June. Because it was part of her job, Miss June spent those years chiding my solid self to “just tuck in your tummy as tight as you can, dear,” and to this day, I still
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Shouldn’t I Get An ‘A’ Just for Enrolling?
Every semester, I am asked by students–with increasing frequency as the term chugs along–if I have any extra credit activities for them. When they ask this, it’s very hard for me not to start the hollerin’. Here’s what I have discovered over the years: 1) the students who will actually complete and submit the extra
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Thus Sprach Jocey-thustra
I’ve been framed.
