O Mighty Crisis Stories

Coyotes; Time As An Abstract 32

Coyotes; Time As An Abstract

NPR runs a weekly audio essay entitled “This I Believe” in which average folks hold forth on an issue or idea that they hold dear; NPR describes this segment as a forum where people “…from all walks of life share the personal philosophies and core values that guide their daily...

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That Michelangelo: Some Sort of Mutant Turtle, Right? 37

That Michelangelo: Some Sort of Mutant Turtle, Right?

I have profound deficiencies in my knowledge of art. Sure, I recognize dogs playing poker when I see them, but beyond that, my high-priced liberal arts education is artistically pockmarked. Certainly, I can enjoy the shadows of Rembrandt. I groove on the dribs and drabs of Pollock. I’ve even heard...

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Epically Myopic 31

Epically Myopic

There’s a reason why I’m legally blind and why, when I’m not wearing my glasses, I mistake the coat closet for my husband. Sure, there’s the whole genetics thing. And, okay, maybe I like hugging fleeces and puddle boots. I won’t even delve into the illicit dalliance I’ve been having...

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Harvest Recipe 35

Harvest Recipe

Take one locally-grown 4-year-old bubbie: Mix in a little Mo Willems’ KNUFFLE BUNNY: Shake vigorously. Months later, after ripening and fermentation, when the wee bubbie subsequently suggests making a “gravetomb” (preschooler speak for “tombstone”) to decorate the yard for Halloween, gently fold in the question, “What shall we paint on...

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Jocelyn Buttstrong 35

Jocelyn Buttstrong

  By mistake, I went on a 14-mile bike ride the other day. It’s not like I was transferring the sheets from washer to dryer, only to suddenly look down and note with a surprised “How the hell did this happen?” that I’d been spinning along on a bike for...

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Bread and Pez 33

Bread and Pez

As is the case with most households, we pretty much live in the kitchen. Food happens there, of course, but so do soul-baring, cross-word puzzling, game-playing, homework-doing, robot-building, friend-entertaining, and mind-numbing-boozing. We spend a good part of every day in that room; it is, quite clichedly, the heart of the...

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FREAK IT, But She’s Hot 29

FREAK IT, But She’s Hot

Even heathens and pagans know this one: A guy named Paul, a whole long time ago, found a scroll and a quill and, over a leisurely cup of red wine, asserted that “a woman’s hair is her crowning glory.” For completely non-biblical reasons–who is this Paul to me, after all?–I’ve...

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All Shook Up 38

All Shook Up

My mom graduated from high school in 1953. She graduated from college in 1957. In many ways, she remained distinctly behind the times; for example, when Elvis Presley first appeared on the Ed Sullivan show in 1956 and essentially transformed youth culture in the space of 3 minutes, my mom...

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Sucking It Up 35

Sucking It Up

In last month or two, during a phase when my lap is always full, my neck skin is constantly fondled, and “I yuv you a bushel and a peck” is whispered repeatedly into my ear throughout the day, I am exceedingly aware that I have never before–and will never again–be...

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