O Mighty Crisis Stories

Don’t Be That Guy 18

Don’t Be That Guy

A few years ago, on a frigid winter’s day, I went out for a run on Duluth’s paved exercise trail, The Lakewalk.  This trail is wide enough for foot and bike traffic to coexist–although it gets considerably narrower after months of snowfall, when snow-clearing machines have cut a line down...

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Himself Pleases This Mass 18

Himself Pleases This Mass

Much of this blog has been a love letter to Groom. Himself. Byron. I’ve felt lately, more than ever, that the blogging conceit of pseudonyms can be fairly tiring.  Anyhow, so,  yea.  He’s Byron.  Most of you knew that already. If not, here’s your pneumonic device.  Byron.  As in, Lord...

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If These Old Walls Could Speak 23

If These Old Walls Could Speak

It is easier to love humanity as a whole than to love one’s neighbor–Eric Hoffer For years, I watched her wandering the city, talking to herself, hugging her clutch of plastic bags to her chest defensively, avoiding eye contact, wearing dirty and mismatched clothes–her entire being an illustration of unchecked...

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Autumnal, Not a Summer’s, Eve 19

Autumnal, Not a Summer’s, Eve

There’s a famous tale–if you’re a fan of fantasy or Tertullian, perhaps you’ve heard of it–concerning Eve and a feeling of being dirty. I refer not to the famous douching scene so histrionically dramatized by Bette Davis (with a notable assist from Anne Baxter) in All About Eve. What?  You...

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The Douchebag Counterargument 37

The Douchebag Counterargument

Sometimes, it alarms me that my job is to teach critical thinking to others, what with my own significant deficiencies as a critical thinker. I mean, I’m still shocked that Roseanne and Tom Arnold didn’t work out.  And then there’s that whole much-too-recently-made connection between sunflower seeds and sunflowers. It...

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Swosh from My Nimbles 17

Swosh from My Nimbles

As a vehement not-morning-person, sometimes I find myself riding the black donkey before noon, and if any pebbly-beached, tallow-breeched sod knocks on my door at too early an hour, I pay him as Paul paid the Ephesians, which is quite a gapeseed, especially if he’s after peck and perch or...

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Doohickeys Are My Cosmo 25

Doohickeys Are My Cosmo

The Jerome Seinfeld situation comedy program that used to fly at us through the rectangular altars in our living rooms was smart.  Drawing from their life experiences, the creators, Jerome and his friend Lawrence David, realized that the addition of a wacky neighbor can add dimension to any scenario.  Without...

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The Richest Arrangement of Tints 20

The Richest Arrangement of Tints

We’ve been back from Turkey for about two months now, and, to my surprise, I haven’t slammed into any really hard reverse-culture shock moments. Well, wait.  Actually. There was this one weekend in early August when, on our way to Wisconsin to meet up with the families of some of...

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“Drop the Damn Fork!”–Jean Nidetch (Weight Watchers Founder) 21

“Drop the Damn Fork!”–Jean Nidetch (Weight Watchers Founder)

Can we fast forward here, to the part where I acknowledge that I gained ten pounds in the summer of 2010 as we closed shop on our lives in Minnesota and stuffed every last ceramic vase and fleece vest into the basement? Continue now with the flowing frames of the...

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